When life imploded in devastating loss, I was suddenly facing not just grief, but fear. One day, reading my Bible, I came across Proverbs 31:25 which says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
How in the world could this woman laugh at the future? How could she relax when she didn’t know what was around the corner? How could she embrace a future when she didn’t know what it held?
As I battled through the heavy emotions of sudden loss, I knew I needed to fight the fear that threatened to paralyze me. I needed to say farewell to fear in grief so I could begin moving forward, even if my future was uncertain.
Doesn’t she know that something could happen to her children? Or to her? What about her finances? Perhaps she’s never had to worry about making the income stretch to cover that broken A/C unit? Or robbing Peter to pay Paul and hoping Peter can hold off for another month?
Does she even watch the news? Can you laugh at a future with a uncertain economy and international conflicts? What kind of world will our kids inherit? Do the school shootings and the crime rate not cause her any fear at all? How do we even shepherd and protect our children in these times and in this shifting culture?
For many years, I shook my head in bewilderment that the Proverbs 31 lady could laugh at a future of complete unknowns or, worse, a future filled with looming issues.
This was clearly a woman who had tackled fear.
After Dan died, I found my thoughts racing with a whole new set of fears. And they no longer seemed far-fetched after the far-fetched had become my reality.
I faced very real fears. One of the hardest was a great vulnerability I felt for my kids as their only parent left. I didn’t want to leave them; I wanted all of us together, fearful that something might happen that would leave them without any parent. I was worried about finances, about our future, about business issues that had been Dan’s domain and were now mine.
I feared how my children would react in this deep loss. I’d known kids who did not cope well with the death of a parent and whose lives had become very painful. I knew the statistics for kids raised in a home without their dad. We’d been on a good trajectory, but now? I worried whether my children would be okay.
I quickly realized these fears were going to completely shut me down. I needed to parent and process the grief. I needed to rebuild my life and life for my family and I couldn’t do it under the constant weight of fear.
Fear is pervasive. All of us deal with anxiety or fear multiple times throughout the day and it affects nearly every area of our lives.
If affects our marriages when struggles and conflict are driven by fear. It affects our parenting from the moment we see two pink lines on the stick. It affects our work and callings from God as fear keeps us from taking big steps to follow God in complete obedience.
If affects our self-image with the fear of failure and what others may think about us. It affects how we save, spend, and give away our money. We worry about our health, our safety, our friendships, and more.
As I walked through grief, I needed to combat the fear threatening to paralyze me. But how? In the next few posts, I’m sharing what God taught me about kicking my fear to the curb. Not because I stuck my head in the sand and ignored it but because God gives us everything we need to free us from fear.
We know fear is not of God. Fear God? Yes. Fear anything else? No. God promises us in his Word that he can deliver us from all of our fear. Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the Lord and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” That promise is squarely in his will and He will do it.
*Part 2: This was THE verse that helped me to fight my fears.
*Part 3: What Fear Steals and How to Take it Back
*Part 4: How to Cut Fear at its Roots
Beautifully written post, thanks so much for sharing your insight. I’m looking forward to coming back and reading more. Much love & blessings to you!
Thank you for visiting!
Oh, Lisa! How I needed this today. Please pray for a release of fear in my life. You continue to minister to me and witness to the awesomeness of God =) thank you
Amanda, I will most definitely pray for this. God will do it; be intentional to root it out. xo
Love this post, and am looking forward to your future posts…especially loved this quote, “I quickly realized that these fears were going to completely shut me down. I needed to parent and I needed to process the grief and LIVE LIFE and I couldn’t do it under the constant burden of fear.” Many blessings to you and your sweet family.
Thank you Beth. Yes, I was surprised how quickly my thoughts were dwarfed by fear. But God is good and able to deliver us even from that.
I am looking forward to reading the remainder of the posts! I have been battling fear for a few years now and every morning, I have to make a conscious decision to lay it down for the day.
Sondra, I can’t imagine the battle. You and your whole family do a great job of pursuing life to the full. I watched and admired it. 🙂
Thank you Lisa for allowing God to use you so greatly! I’m continually blessed by your post! ,<3
Beth,we are continuing to pray for you!
Thank you for your sweet, strong testimony. The Lord has been trying to teach me not to fear as well. He recently showed me the verse you noted, Psalm 34:4, and it suddenly hit me that He actually promises to deliver me from all my fears – even the fear of speaking about Him to others. I long to overcome this fear and boldly speak of the One who can deliver them as well!
Sheri, that’s a great verse (a great chapter!). God can equip and make our weaknesses strengths.
This is such a good reminder – I think we can all fall into that horrible trap of fearing the future and forgetting who God is and that He is sovereign. If we don’t allow Him to address our fears and surrender our lives to Him, we will be forever bound by the chains fear keeps us in.
This is definitely what I needed right now! Thanks Lisa for your posts!
Beautifully written. Thanks for writing about this thema!
So encouraging! Thank you for sharing at Women With Intention Wednesdays! I look forward to what you will be sharing this week!
Just found your blog today. I’m also a widow. In just a few days it will be 3 yrs. We were married 37 yrs. Without God I couldn’t have gone on. My heart is stronger now because of Him but I will never be the same. I depend on Jesus every second of my day. But I feel like Peter trying to walk to Jesus on the water. The second I take my eyes off him I sink back into fear & depression. I found Penterest on my phone a few months back & it seems every day I find a message from Him just for me. Today I found you. Thank you dear one! Thank you Lord!
Donna, I’m so sorry for your great loss. 37 years is a gift, but also so much love to grieve. Thank God that His everlasting arms catch us when we despair and when it seems too hard to bear. Praying for you now. xoxo
Thank you for writing this, I have had many fears in my life, but the one that held me is my fear of driving. As a teenager, my mom took me out my very first day of my learners permit and we had an accident. God took great care of us, but my mom never let me drive again. I have been held in this fear all my life. Would you please pray for me that God would break this fear? I am a Christian and I love my Jesus so much and just don’t understand why I can’t overcome this. Thank you for your prayers!