We sat at a table outside in the shade, coffees in hand. I was only a few weeks out from Dan’s death and I was overwhelmed. A dear friend listened as I talked and cried with me as I cried.
I remember telling her my fears and how I was scared for my kids. I worried how my children would cope without their dad and what it might mean long-term to raise young children and boys coming of age with no dad in the house.
This friend knew scared. Underneath her beautiful countenance and endless energy, she fought her own battle. Her countenance wasn’t a mask. It was the result of an exchange she made every single day. Maybe all throughout the day.
She exchanged the lies that caused fear for truth.
Fear is a battle fought and won in the mind. God tells us that in this war, we are to take every single thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
This was life changing for me. I needed to intentionally call out the fear as a lie and then replace it with the truth of scripture.
Over the next few days, as my thoughts turned with decisions and emotion, I began to practice this. I looked up every single Bible verse that applied to my fears, wrote them in my journal and recited them when fear crept in.
Take my fear for my kids being raised in a single parent home without a dad. Even now, I can remember the grip that fear had on me. My fear wasn’t entirely unreasonable. I knew of situations where other kids had not dealt well with a parent’s death and I’d long heard the statistics on problems that children in single parent families experience. Now that distant statistical group was us.
But you know what? I don’t live by statistics. You probably don’t either. If I did, I’d never put my car on the interstate. And anecdotes about how other children responded in grief have little if any bearing on the dynamics and coping and relationships in our family.
So that fear? A big, fat lie.
And every single time I felt it welling up in me, I made it obedient to the truth of Christ.
God’s Word says over and over and over (He must know that our frail selves need to hear Him say it again, as if it could make it more true) that He is the Father to the fatherless.
~A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5~But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief,
To repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless. Psalm 10:14
And statistics have not planned my children’s futures. God has.
~For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Those promises are as good as done. They are not pie-in-the-sky platitudes. God is so very practical. Every single thing that my kids would look to their earthly father for – protection, provision, guidance, love – God WILL provide for them. I know God will do this; I have seen Him be very personal and practical for me as I’ve navigated this unknown.
The truth of Christ is all there for us. If we’re going to take our fears captive to truth, we have to be in God’s Word. It doesn’t take me too many days away from God’s Word for my thoughts to cloud with despair and anxiety.
I have to regularly bathe my mind and heart in scripture so I can call out fear and call on truth. The weapon of the war on fear is the truth of Christ. A sheathed weapon will never bring down a stronghold.
Open the Word and let the truth of Christ conquer your fears.
Find Part 1 :: Say Farewell to Fear here
Part 3:: What Fear Steals and How to Take it Back
Part 4:: How to Cut Fear at Its Roots
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Keep writing about this truth, dear friend! Your words are incredibly powerful – and always pointing us to Christ. thank you
Lisa,
You need to go on the speakers circuit. This is GREAT stuff! Very well written and full of Truth. You are very gifted, and you know where your gifts come from. Thank you for your incredible insights.
Skip, you encourage me. The lessons we learn in the crucible of experience, we learn well and this is one of them.
Amen! & Amen!!!! Lots of fears with moving…all the “unknowns”… God KNOWS!
Love you!❤️
Moving when you have deep roots hurts and is hard! It’s definitely a step in faith. I know you’ll be able to look back in 10 years (as I do) and see all the details God was working out.
Thank you for the strategies to fight fear when needed., down to the specific verses. I like the thought about the sheathed weapon, such a reality I’m prone to forget.
You have a lot on your shoulders and are a role model even in the fears. Thank you for tending this blog.
Julie, I think and pray often for my online friends who dealing with grief. Knowing there are good days and hard days, I pray that God is bringing some healing and joy to you. xoxoxo
“A sheathed weapon will never bring down a stronghold.” Yikes… That is powerful, sister! Thanks for sharing. There is much to ponder…
Thank you Tog. I’m so grateful for the wise friend that shared that verse with me!
Another great article.
This is so good. I’ve fought fear most of my life too. It’s finally a tad easier, but it does come from letting Christ take over my thoughts instead of believing the lies I tell myself. Staying in the moment with Jesus is always the safest place to be, not in my imaginary future world of what-ifs or in the past gone-by world of regrets.
That’s it exactly Lisa. You’re the second person who has used a phrase similar to “imaginary future world” lately in talking about this. Many blessings!
wow, this is powerful. God showed me today this very truth as I struggled to do something because of my fear. His word spoke through my stubbornness and his grace moved me forward to do what he was calling me to do. I’ve written II Cor. 10:3-5 down for my scripture to meditate on next week. I am seeing my tendency to NOT take my thoughts captive. I needed this reminder of truth today. You are an excellent writer. Wonder if you speak to groups as well?
Melody, it warms my heart so much to know that this verse would help you as much as it has me. Thank you for your encouragement. I have spoken to women’s groups and I love sharing about God’s faithfulness in the hard of life.
I’ve collected three pages of scriptures over the years, dealing with specific fears and lies of the enemy. They have bee spoken aloud in prayer so often that most of them are memorized now. Your post meant much to me because I’ve seen this work!
Yes! Our fear will take over if we let it!
I’m facing some fear myself. Thank you for the GOOD WORDS! Our GOD is bigger than any problem!! Hallelujiah
Fear is a battle fought and won in the mind. God tells us that in this war, we are to take every single thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. — This is POWER!! Thanks. Found you at #livefreeThursday
So sorry for your recent loss. My heart is with you. I raised three sons alone — but as a single mom recovering from abuse, abandonment, etc — it ain’t easy, but HE’s our Elder Brother and NOTHING is impossible with Him. Blessings of wisdom, stamina, shalom and lots of love to you and your 7. Hugs.
Lisa
I’m binging on your blog as I lay in bed reading (took sick leave this morning from work).
Thank you for sharing this post on fear – it’s so needful…
Sandra