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Say Farewell to Fear::Part I

By Lisa Appelo 23 Comments

Farewell to Fear 1

farewell to fear scripture

You know, the Proverbs 31 lady is pretty perfect at a lot of things, but this one really gets me. How in the world can she laugh at the future?

How can she relax when she doesn’t know what lies around the corner? How can she embrace the future when she doesn’t know what it holds?

Doesn’t she know that something could happen to her children? Or to her?  Is there never any worry about vaccinations or developmental milestones or too much screen time or the influence of peers?  What about her finances? Perhaps she’s never had to worry about making the income stretch to cover that broken A/C unit?  Or robbing Peter to pay Paul and hoping Peter can hold off for another month?

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: Faith Everyday, Grief & Healing, Popular Posts, Soul Keeping Tagged With: #anxiety #Proverbs31, #fear, widow

How the Body of Christ is More than Your Little {or Big} Church

By Lisa Appelo 27 Comments

child's praying hands

I knelt down by my 7-year-old to give him a goodnight hug and pray with him.  Every so often after Dan died, he wanted to make a pallet on my bedroom floor and sleep in my room.  That’s where he was this night while we were saying goodnight prayers.

With my eyes closed, I listened to Matt pray. What a big heart this little boy had. He prayed as he had on so many other nights, thanking God for a good day and praying for all the kids in the world that needed help. Typical 7-year-old stuff said with such innocent trust. And then he closed: “Tell my dad I said hello.”

Tell my dad I said hello.

A thousand knives went through my heart. My mind wrestled with the brutal honesty of his words as I bent over to kiss the top of his head. Tears stung my eyes at the cruel unfairness that a little boy would even have to pray those words and I could see that Matt’s eyes were filled with tears too.

But there was also truth in Matt’s words and that truth brought some comfort. I had cried more tears over the last few weeks than I ever imagined a person could cry. Our days were filled with constant reminders of missing Dan. I’d instinctively reach for my cell phone to tell him some news and then remember. I’d hear the back door open and my heart would beat a little faster as it always did when he came home from work and then I’d remember.

Every single routine in our family had an empty hollowness after Dan’s death. Dinners were eaten with plenty of conversation, but we were always aware of the vacant spot at the head of the table. No more rides in Dad’s truck to and from practice and no more evenings with the littles telling stories and giving them their baths. His briefcase sat just where he’d left it in the living room and boxes of his office stuff were stacked on a table in the garage.

Tell my dad I said hello.

And yet there was a connection. He on that side of heaven, we on this side. He in the presence of God and we still walking it out in faith. He face to face with God, we veiled from full glory.

Heaven had always seemed far off in time and space. It was a someday thing, very distant from our busy days filled to the brim with life. And then, it wasn’t.

During Sunday morning worship, I pictured what Dan might be doing right then. Dan, who Sunday after Sunday had been in church with us, was now in the indescribable majesty and awe of worship right before God our Father and Jesus, our Savior. I pictured the warm acceptance of immeasurable Love and the lavish joy, the sounds of an angelic host joining in worship, and the scene of unrestricted glory and adoration above anything I could even imagine.

There is a chorus of worship as if on two sides of a mirror. We could see only through the mirror dimly as we sang familiar songs and hymns, but Dan could worship face to face. We in our pew and Dan in the true tabernacle. All eyes on Christ; all part of one body.

The body of Christ is more than my local church or believers meeting around my city. It encompasses believers across denomination, across country, across ethnicity, across civilization and across time. It includes believers who came before us — an Ethiopian led to Christ by an apostle, those martyred under Nero, those who sought refuge on the shores of Massachusetts.

That was the comfort in Matt’s words.  There is a connection. We continue to be part of the body of Christ. A 7-year-old boy gets it. To be absent in the body  is not to be a black hole of nothing but is to be present with the Lord. Dan walks with God in fulfilled faith that side of heaven as we walk with God in hope-filled faith on this side.

Yes, Lord Jesus. Tell him we said hello. Much to do here, but we will see him soon.

You are…fellow citizens with God’s people
and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself
as the chief cornerstone. Ephesians 2:19-20

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Shared with #TellHisStory, SHINE, Chatting at the Sky, Mama Moments

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Filed Under: Faith Everyday, Grief & Healing, Popular Posts

Extending the Umbrella of Grace

By Lisa Appelo 40 Comments

The rain came down in buckets as I pulled into the parking space at Publix.

“Annalise, can you climb in the way back and get the big golf umbrella?” I asked.

Before she could start, Zach darted out of the passenger door, opened the hatch and got out the umbrella. With a broad grin, he opened my door and held the opened umbrella over me.

So much like his dad, I thought. As Annalise and I tucked under the umbrella next to this 6-foot-3 man-boy, warm memories from not so long ago stirred up.

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: Faith Everyday, Gratitude, Popular Posts

When God Says No

By Lisa Appelo 24 Comments

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Learning to say no is hard. Learning to say no to really good things is even harder.

I re-visited this all over again recently when a friend asked me to serve with her in a ministry.  It was a group near to my heart and I’d be serving alongside some close friends. These ladies had walked me through the hardest years of my life, loved on my children and me, listened and counseled. On top of all that, I admired these ladies. What a glorious opportunity to serve a group I love while spending time with people I love.

A win-win. And surely an open door from the Lord.

While everything in me was saying “You bet!”, the godly girl in me said “I’ll pray about it.” [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Faith Everyday, Popular Posts, Soul Keeping Tagged With: Decisions, Nehemiah, Saying No

Dear Single Mama

By Lisa Appelo 37 Comments

Dear Single Mama | Single Mom Parenting |

My hat is off to you.

I wish we could sit down together over a long cup of coffee and remind each other that it’s going to be okay.  That we will be okay and that God is bringing us through.

Some days when I’m bone weary, I think about you — laboring well after everyone’s in bed.

I think about you making hundreds of decisions by yourself.

And facing daily new that you never expected and surely never wanted.

I think about you figuring out a hundred things that he used to do or letting it go because it’s just too hard to figure out.

I think about you anesthetizing lonely evenings with the mindless screen, willing yourself to cheer the anniversaries of friends, the happy-birthday-to-my-best-friend-who-completes-me pictures, the snapshots of boys hunting and father-daughter dances your own will never see again.

That heaviness you carry? You’ve gotten used to it.

You’ve gotten used to knots in your neck and thoughts that can’t be switched off, swirling between the must-do’s of today and the what if’s of tomorrow.

And while you smile to everyone else and put a brave face on mothering, I see the heaviness that’s always with you. God sees it.

[Read more…]

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Filed Under: Faith Everyday, Family Life, Popular Posts, Single Mom Life

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