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Hard Questions Children Ask in Grief

By Lisa Appelo 2 Comments

Hard questions children ask in grief

When my husband died suddenly, I found myself wading through the uncharted waters of deep grief and trying to navigate it for my kids as well.

We spent a lot of time talking to help process our emotions and the cataclysmic change. We talked in the car, at the dinner table, in our morning Bible time, at bedtime.

Our world had completely upended and my kids were filled with questions. My youngest two would often ask these questions at the most inopportune times and often, asked them over and over.  Grief is too much for a young child to carry, and asking questions helps them process grief bit by bit.

My teens didn’t ask questions, but I knew they had them. So we’d sit together and talk, me bringing up answers to questions I knew were swirling in their thoughts.

We can’t do the hard work of grief for our children, but we can shepherd them through with hugs and tears, giving stability in a world that’s changed, and listening when they open up.

Their questions need honesty and gentleness, to help them make sense of grief and death. Here are some of the hard questions children ask in grief.

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Filed Under: Parenting Children through Grief

7 Ways Children Grieve

By Lisa Appelo 10 Comments

7 ways children grieve. Help children through loss and grief.

One of THE hardest things after my husband died was not only dealing with my grief, but watching my children try to grapple with theirs.

My youngest two kids were 4 and 6 years old; I had three coming-of-age boys (12, 14 and 16 years old) who needed their dad; a 17-year-old daughter who was her daddy’s girl through and through; and a just launched 19-year-old son.

I learned early on that children grieve differently.

Children grieve differently than adults.
Teens grieve differently than preschoolers.
Boys grieve differently than girls.

Even two kids the same age with the same loss can grieve differently because of personality, experience, their home environment or their relationship with the one who’s died.

Kids can suffer many kinds of loss – the death of a sibling, grandparent or parent; a chronic diagnosis for themselves or a family member; a devastating divorce; adoption loss; or even a move that takes them away from friends, school and the familiar.

As a parent navigating our kids through grief, discerning signs of our that grief can be difficult.

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Filed Under: Grief & Healing, Parenting Children through Grief

Best Books for Children’s Grief

By Lisa Appelo 9 Comments

Best Books for children's grief | help children grief | kids grieving | children books heaven

When children are grieving, it’s so important to keep an ongoing conversation about what has happened and what they are feeling. Books for children’s grief can help prompt that conversation.

Children don’t necessarily express their grief like adults. And they may have questions and fears after the death of a parent, sibling, friend or grandparent.

When Dan passed away, I had 6- and 4-year-olds (along with tweens and teens). I wanted to help my children process their grief and continue to move through it. Not talking about our deceased loved ones doesn’t avoid grief; it postpones it. Books were one way to keep intentional conversations going so that my kids could grief in a healthy way.

Today, I’m sharing some of the best books for children’s grief I’ve found.

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Filed Under: Book Recs, Grief Resources, Parenting Children through Grief Tagged With: children's grief, death, death of grandparent, trials

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