Being a single mom often means cringing when the calendar turns to February. Every store is decked with pink and red cards, flowers, and balloons and it seems like everyone has someone but us. But surviving and celebrating Valentine’s Day as a single mom isn’t only possible—it’s the way through a holiday that hurts.
Love isn’t reserved only for couples and neither is Valentine’s Day. These are 5 ways I’ve found to manage Valentine’s Day triggers and enjoy a day to celebrate real love.
5 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day as a Single Mom
1.Love on your children.
My husband was the fun dad and boy have I missed that after he died suddenly. I’ve always tended to be the rule enforcer, but as a single mom I’m now both good cop and bad cop 24/7. I also have a too-long to-do list and can focus more on getting things done for my children than my children themselves. Valentine’s Day—or even the month of February— is the perfect time to make sure our children know how much we love them. It can be through notes posted on their door, a special dinner, a breakfast surprise, speaking words of affirmation over them, or simple telling them every day that we love them.
2. Celebrate your friends.
Celebrating friendship on Valentine’s Day helps us realize how many loving people we have in our lives. Friends fill our worlds with laughter on the good days and offer a listening ear and real conversation on the hard days. Whether it’s work friends who regularly make our day or old friends we rarely get to see, we can reach out with something as simple as an email or e-card and let them know how much they mean to us.
3. Lean into God’s love for you.
God’s love is enough. That’s not a trite cliche meant to dismiss real pain. It’s a reality I found in my loneliest moments after Dan died. When I didn’t know how I could make it through another night alone, God sustained me breath by excruciating breath. And I know he’ll do that for you as well.
Because from one end of the Bible to the other, scripture declares God’s extravagant love for us. No other person can satisfy what our soul craves and our heart needs. God’s love is the soft landing that provides real rest, the salve that soothes the tenderest places, and the covering that wraps us in secure hope.
God’s love is wider, longer, higher and deeper than we could even begin to imagine. When we try to wrap our minds around it, we’ve already limited it. These 28 Bible verses show the powerful impact of God’s love for us.
4. Surprise another single mom or widow.
One of the best ways to brighten what can be a hard day is to bring light to someone else’s day. Scripture says that when we refresh others, we ourselves are refreshed. (Prov. 11:25, NLT) As we pour out comfort to others, God pours his comfort into us. Chances are you know another single mom or widow who needs encouragement. I’m smiling just thinking of the joy a simple bouquet of flowers or a gift would bring to my widowed neighbor who gets few visitors with no local family.
5. Give yourself the gift of Biblical self-care.
Sometimes we do need to buy ourselves flowers. We can be our own valentine and with needed self-care. Maybe it’s an evening out to think our own thoughts and refresh our own soul. Maybe it’s permission to shop for ourselves, because Goodness knows how often a trip to Target turns into shopping for our kids. Maybe it’s an hour to get a pedicure or soak in a tub with a good book. Valentine’s Day is the perfect reminder that single parenting is tough and self-care is healthy for the whole family.
*The first edition of this post appeared at iMOM.com.
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