The broken places come without warning. There’s no alert that tomorrow about noon, we’re going to get a phone call that will change our life. No notice to get ready for a huge trial coming our way in a month.
When life as we knew it collapsed under us, I found myself in completely uncharted territory. I had no idea what to expect as a young widow. I felt an immense weight of not only navigating the fallout and my grief, but shepherding seven children through their dad’s sudden death.
Within a week, I had a small stack of books on grief and single parenting and suffering. I would start to read each book and the author’s story of brokenness. But I could never read straight through the books. I always turned to the final chapter, to read the end of the book. I wanted to know how the story ended for each family — whether the kids were okay and whether the author had remarried. I wanted to read that, although their circumstances had been terribly difficult, they were thriving and happy again.
That’s our nature, isn’t it? We live most of our life thinking ahead to the next chapter to make sure that it’s all going to turn out for us. Will we have enough for retirement? Will our children turn out well with stable, productive lives? Will we live well into a ripe old age?
Our books and films reflect this craving for a happy ending. Movies that don’t deliver a happy ending never really sit well. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve choked up reading the final pages of a chapter book to my kids as all of the mounting conflict is happily resolved.
And so “will this turn out okay” is the first question that bubbles up when we find ourselves in the midst of a trial or painful circumstances.
When we focus on the ending, we can miss what God is doing in the process.
Psalm 139:16 tells us that
Before we were ever born, God ordained every single one of our days and recorded them in his book.
That includes the best days — when the exam is aced; when a velveted box with a single solitaire is offered on bent knee; when the pinkest, most adorable newborn is swaddled and cradled.
That includes the very hard days – the one where the boss comes in with news that the job will no longer be needed and you can go ahead and clean out the desk; the one where an unalarming doctor visit results in a devastating diagnosis; the one where a family is rocked to the core by a unilateral decision to leave for someone else.
God has allowed all of them. Every day held in the safe sovereignty of our good and loving God.
Psalm 139:16 says that God has fashioned our days, each one before we were even born. The Hebrew word for “fashioned” is used of a potter molding his vessel. If you’ve ever watched a potter work a lump of hard clay on a wheel, you know that first he must work handfuls of water into the clay. Then slowly he begins to shape the clay with his hands, pinching, pressing and removing pieces unfit for the work. He often chisels a unique design into the clay using wire tools and small knives. Even then the vessel in unusable until it’s been fired in the kiln.
While we crave to know the ending – to see the finished vessel – God is about the molding.
As unwelcome as the hard days are, God has allowed trials and suffering to mold us and shape us to become more like Christ. We cannot fast forward through the book. We can’t turn to a page six months from now or ten years down the road. If we keep our eyes on the ending, we’ll miss all that God is molding in us right now.
Trust that God knows the ending.
Trust that God has already fashioned every day between now and then.
Trust that God will use this for His glory as He molds us into vessels He can use.
Rather than focusing our eyes on the ending, we can fix our eyes on all Christ is doing in the process.
This is so me…rushing to see the end…Lord help to live one day at a time as You mold me and make make into a vessel for Your honor and glory.
Yes, so right. One day at a time. One day has enough for us!
Thank you Lisa. I know God will use your, beauty from ashes, to help encourage so many others. And Psalm 139 is one of my favorite Psalms, and verse 16, always brings me such comfort. Our lives our already written in God’s history book. Amazing.
“Are” already written. 🙂
It brings me such comfort too. Psalm 139:16 has reassure me so many times that God knew, God allowed, it will be okay. Blessings to you Pam. <3
Hi, Lisa,
When I signed up for this 31 Day Braving the Broken, I had very little on my mind. However, within the last two weeks I found out that I need a complete hysterectomy with removal of ovaries. I’m only 45 years old and have never had any type of surgery.
I truly believe the Lord led me to your devotions. I am going to need your encouragement over the next month! (my surgery is set for Oct. 26th)
Thank you for your faithfulness,
Jennifer
Oh wow, Jennifer. I’m so happy you’re with us. God has already gone before you in all of this. Just as He’s been faithful all these years, He will be faithful through this. I’m praying for you!
Thank you, Lisa. I truly appreciate it.
Hi Jennifer,
I’m praying for you too, to be able to rest in Gods care.
Hugs
Denise
Thank you so much, Denise!
As a widow who has just come through breast cancer treatment, God has been teaching me so much and carrying me through the difficult times everyday! I am anxious to hear what He has taught and continues to teach you, I love to hear other’s stories of God’s faithfulness during the storms of life, and just as significantly through the everyday, mundane times.
Mary, thank you for joining us. I agree.. . second to the Word, it is so encouraging to hear from others of God’s faithfulness.
Sweet Lisa, As always, your post has blessed my heart! What a great comfort it is to know that God has gone before me and knows the ending of my story and all the days in between. I’m so looking forward to the next 30 days!
It is comforting Beth! No mistakes. Xoxo
our grown son, raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord, not perfectly but with our whole hearts, told us about a year ago that he is gay. Broken-hearted and struggling to understand God’s hand in this is an understatement. Part of me wants to know the ending, and a big part of me is too scared to know. This son is amazing, gifted, loving, successful- but deceived. Looking forward to spending time with you this month being reminded of our God who can be trusted.
Lois, praying as I write this that God will give you wisdom and His love as you walk with your son through this.
Oh how many times have I wished that God would at least show me a glimpse, even in a dream, of what is to come if I decide to take that step of faith and obedience. And sometimes, I could be so bold as to ask Him if He would give me the happy ending that I had in mind. But of course He wouldn’t. He wants us to live out everyday in faith and to put our trust in His capable hands. You are right, God is more interested in how we journey, rather than that time we reach the finish line.
God wants our trust but we sure know our end is ultimately with Christ. Thank goodness.
I love how you say when we focus on the ending we miss what God is doing through the process. Such an important life lesson to learn. Hugs to you! Keep on writing. #livefreeThursday #write31days
Thank you Sarah. Good to see you here and off on your own 31 day journey.
I have been there – fast forwarding to the ending and asking the doctor if I will be okay. Thank you for reminding us that each day is held in God’s good and loving hands.
I am doing this 31 day challenge on my blog, hope that is ok dear. here is the answer to day ones question. http://shortybearsplace.blogspot.com/2015/10/join-me-for-31-days-braving-broken-in.html
Lisa, that really got me when you said you turned to the back of the books to see if everything turned out ok. I’ve never realized it before, but I do that too. I want some type of tangible assurance, something that gives me hope. God’s Word is exactly what we need to hold on to in those times! His promises are true and good, and we can rest on those promises. Thank you for this perspective today!
Thank you Kristine. It is a new perspective. ♡
Thank you for writing Lisa. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. I am going through marriage troubles right now, and am so incredibly impatient. I want things to be the way they’re “supposed to be” NOW. I don’t want to suffer. I think we can all identify with that! But I am learning through this trial to trust the Lord’s timing. It’s not easy by any means, but I am growing.
Cindy, you are right — it’s so hard to walk it. Praying for yielded hearts, God’s wisdom and His overpowering love. <3
This is me right now feels like I’m being broken more and more each time i think its getting better it gets worse 🙁
I skip to the end of books too for hope and reassurance that everything will be ok i can rwlate to all the other comments
I am so grateful to GOD for you Lisa I was not going to reply but only GOD truly leads us to a place that will give us what we need and I needed to read your post. I pray for your continual obedience to God and His leading and I know that H e is able to carry us through all things. I am looking forward to finishing the entire series. God bless you and your family. Wrenetta.