I can still remember the disappointment in my 14-year-old cousin’s words: “You have really nice friends. Mine are crummy.” She had been visiting us and had spent time with our friends. As her words sunk in, I realized two essentials about friendship. First, a good friend is a treasured blessing. And second, a good friendship doesn’t just happen; we have to cultivate it.
In a world dominated by likes and followers, true friendship is such a gift. Girlfriends who we can do life with, who get us and who see parts of our heart and soul no one else does, make life sweet.
True friendship moves us past small talk and surface answers and into soul nourishment. We can get past the veneer and share side-splitting laughs as much as we share hopes and struggles.
So much in our world works against forming deep friendship – our crazy busy schedules, cross country moves and subbing online interaction for in real life relationships.
But God did not create us to do life alone. He put us in community. True Christian friendships won’t just happen. First, we have to BE the kind of friend we want to have. Real friendships will always start there.
If we want real deal, long-lasting, soul nourishing friendships, they must be intentionally built. With the right stuff. Here are 10 marks of true Christian friendship:
{Join me over at ArabahJoy.com to read the rest of my guest post on her site.}
**WELCOME to those visiting from Arabah Joy. I got to know Arabah when I was a brand new writer and we took a course together. Arabah’s deep love for God and His Word has so resonated with me and I’m delighted to guest post with her today! If you’d like to know when new posts are up here on True and Faithful, I’d love for you to subscribe here. And for even more encouragement in your feed, join me on Facebook here.
Thank you for this post which I finished over at Arabah. I feel so lonely spiritually much of the time. I have one friend I can talk with on the deeper things of God but she is very busy in ministry so I don’t like to contact her very often. I wonder why over my lifetime I have had so few friends and question what is wrong with me. I do reach out to others that may be lonely or going through hard times since I know what it feels like to feel alone. I have been married for almost 50 years to a good man who is not that interested in spiritual things. He goes to church but that seems to be enough for him and I want more, hungering for the Presence of the Lord, wanting to connect on a deeper level with my Lord and others.
Priscilla, loneliness is so hard. I have periods of that as well and I’ve watched a child go through it. It is something to commit to God in prayer and ask Him to bring you friendship. I believe this is within His will for us and that He will answer that prayer. And then, practically, pursuing friendship with someone God has put in your path — a Sunday school class, a Bible study, a volunteer ministry. Blessings as God continues to lead you.
Hi Lisa,
I was so lucky to have you for not only a great cousin but a great friend too. I will always cherish the fun times we had together when we were young. GOD IS GOOD.
Me too, Cindy! We had some seriously good times. I love you as well, all the way across the miles! [And this wasn’t your quote. ;)]
Beautifully said, Lisa. Your posts are always so relevant to what I or a someone I know is going through. I miss being in your SS class–I learned so much. Thank you for allowing me to continue to grow through your blog. You truly help me to see God’s truth in ways I cannot on my own. Love to you.
We miss you, Lisa, but I’m so very grateful for women with your heart that serve our little ones! Love you as well. And you have an open and forever invitation to our get-togethers!
I struggled for years and years to find the deep friendships that my soul desired, but as with most things, God’s timing is perfect (even if we don’t think so sometimes) He provided a perfect friend at the exact moment that I was going through a troubling time. I love her so much for her willingness to speak the truth. I would love for her to live closer so we could shop and have lunch more often, but I realize that God worked his plan out perfectly when I needed it the most.
What a great testimony, Karen. Deep friendship is sometimes the fruit of going through troubled times. Thank you for sharing!