Her favorite mantra: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” photo credit: Becka Echelberger
Much of parenting is a tug between release and rescue.
I watched it unfold the other day in the ladies restroom. A mom went in with her preschooler who insisted she could do it by herself.
“Are you sure?” the mother questioned.
“I do it,” came the persistent reply.
The mother closed the stall door and stood there holding it, waiting. Not ten seconds later, a little voice piped up. “Mommy, can you help me?”
Oh, it took me back. I chuckled because it was only a few short years ago that I was right there.
The slow release has picked up speed in the last few years. High school graduation, overseas mission trips, a college diploma and landing the first job.
And despite the pulls of release that my heart is absorbing, every now and again I get to rescue. Monday, with white space on my calendar, I sat down to a stack of paperwork. Just as I started working, I got a phone call.
“Mom, I need my social security card.”
“Can I scan it to you?” I asked.
“No, I have to have the card. Can you meet me?” she asked, stressed at the rush of getting to the job orientation. And then, “Just bring my whole file.”
The file?! She wanted me to give her the whole file?
I could feel a shift in the tectonic plates of my life.
I’d written her name on the center cut 22 years ago and filed it in the R’s. I had carefully kept every pediatric exam record, every shot record, her birth certificate, social security card, test scores, critical high school papers and the passport guarded in the file.
When she sat for her driving test, got her first job, started dual enrollment and applied to college, I carefully pulled the documents needed and then refiled them. I have seven of these folders, one for each child, an archive of every important milestone in their lives.
“Sure, I’ll bring you the file.” Life post college, on her real own, is launching. She’ll have her own benefits, shop her own car insurance, make her doctors’ appointments and keep her own file.
Oh sweet girl, it’s time you keep the file. But there are other critical things we also hand you — 22 years of teaching and imperfectly modeling the most critical information you need. How I pray these are the archives you take from our home.
#1) Trust God. Even when it looks unreasonable. God’s ways are so much higher than our ways but His sheep know His voice and you will hear Him tell you “this is the way, walk in it.” And then be prepared to be amazed.
#2) The blessings of obedience far surpass any supposed sacrifice. Whatever you may be giving up will be dwarfed by the abundance of obeying God. It will cause you to wonder why you ever questioned obedience in the first place. And its corollary: disobedience has consequences, usually greater than we imagine. The lie says we can get away with a little bit. God is a good shepherd who loves us too much for that.
#3) Wait for God. This is so important. Do not rush ahead with a solution. The wait is where our heart is tested and lessons are planted deep. Do we really trust God? His answer is perfect and His timing is impeccable. He is never late (but rarely early).
#4) Not every open door is from God. You want to know God’s will? Stay in His Word, stay in prayer and you will hear from Him.
#5) About seeking God’s will: Keep doing the last thing God told you until He tells you different. We humans get restless. We want to revisit decisions again and again. Stay the course until God tells you something different.
#6) Take every question to God. “Faith may not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.” (Elisabeth Elliot)
#7) Honor God with the first of your increase. Your first and best. I hardly need to tell you this one because you have taught me. You have kept an open hand. Don’t make it a line item when there’s money left over. God’s economy far surpasses what our eyes see. See #1 and #2.
I love you. I love your heart, your outrageous compassion for others, your tremendous generosity. You’ve taught me enormous lessons. I love your hunger for God and your contagious sunshine. I love your brave curiosity, your authenticity, the unguarded way you pursue friendships and relationships. I’m so very proud of your hard work and of how you have pushed through these last 4 years after your dad’s death. He was our earthly rock.
We will forever share this: your dad was the first man of our dreams.
Here’s your file sweet girl. I cannot wait to see all that you add to it.
P.S. If you’d like to know when new posts are up, I’d love for you to subscribe here. Thank you!
Linking up with #TellHisStory, Coffee for Your Heart, #LiveFreeThursday, #LookingUp, Motivation Monday, SarahTitus, Purposeful Faith, Intentional Tuesday
Beautifully said!! Such wise words for your girl! She is an amazing young lady!
I pray the same for my Smyrl girls!!
Sandra
You have beautiful girls Sandra!
And with fear and trepidation, we hand over the original SS card and birth certificate! Beautiful post – this is my first time here and I’m glad we landed next to one another this morning at Jennifer’s (I’m in #75!).
Thank you for visiting Susan!
Precious. Just absolutely PRECIOUS!
Love, love, love this!! Thanks for sharing! <3
Beautiful words!! Thanks, Lisa.
Hi Lisa,
I’m your neighbor at Holley’s link-up today! I love your advice for your daughter as she heads out into the world on her own — these reminders to trust God wherever she is will be so valuable to her! And I’m sure it’s quite a brave step for you to let her go too! Nice to meet you friend! 🙂
Thank you Valerie. . . there are more lessons but these are solid foundations.
“22 years of teaching and imperfectly modeling the most critical information you need” Oh, how I get this. It’s where I’m at right now – with three launched and the last perching on the edge.
Your wisdom is sound. You have fought a hard fight, and are a beacon for the rest of us, Lisa. Thank you for continuing in your encouragement. Happy to discover I am your neighbor today on #livefreeThursday.
And I hate keeping track of all that oh-so-important paperwork that is the fabric of their lives! It’s all in the lockbox. 🙂
Ruthie, I’m so glad we still have a few perched. 🙂
Lisa, perfectly enunciated and much needed today, as I spent the day with my baby before she leaves for college next month. Thank you!
Hugs to you, Karen. I see more road trips in your future!
Thank you for this, Lisa! As a mom of two daughters (one tween, one teen), this is where my heart beats, too. I gladly share this on the FB page for my girls-of-all-ages Bible study blog. Blessings to you and your sweet girl!
Thank you for sharing Elizabeth! God bless your houseful of estrogen. <3
Thanks for these bits of advice, Lisa. I appreciated what you said about every open door not necessarily being from God. I recently heard Jen Wilkin say that “If you want to hear God speak in an audible voice, read your Bible out loud.” I want to grow in my love of the Word, even as I seek to raise my toddler in Him.
Yes! I just read Jen Wilkin’s new book.
I have 2 daughters and love this! Although they are now women I still long to speak into their lives with God’s truth! Stopping by from Reflect, would love for you to join our link up.
Thank you Jann! It’s amazing to think that our years with them as adults are twice as long as our years with them in the house.
Thanks for this timely message. I was a widow during this period in my son’s life and can say God is good and He provides. I am so thankful!
Wow, Carol, we have much in common. Thank you for your testimony that God carries us through. Blessings to you!
Wise words here, Lisa, for us all. I pray I remember these … and live them out, especially the blessings of obedience and the reminder to wait on God. Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )
I appreciate you hosting Crystal!
I was so happy to see you in the featured spot at #TellHisStory, Lisa! This is a wonderful, wise post. Your daughter (and all your other children) are blessed to have you as their mother.
Thank you Lois. Good to see you here. 🙂
Sweet nuggets! I just spied your name over at Jennifer Dukes Lee’s place. 🙂 So glad I did because there is pure sweetness in this post. As one who is following not far behind, I’m thankful for the sage wisdom moms like you share, Lisa. Thank you, my friend.
Kristi, you are in great years of sowing all of this down deep. ::happy sigh::
Hi Lisa! How fun to see you featured on “TellHisStory! This is a wonderful post, and so encouraging for me since I’m sending my son off to college in about 6 weeks! 🙂 Thanks for your wisdom.
Betsy, enjoy this time with him!As you know, the principles are really universal.
oh…I remember those days. So bittersweet.
Thanks for this post. It will be a LONG time before my kids ask for the file, but this gives me inspiration about how I should parent them now to be ready for that day!
Great article
This was so beautiful! What a journey and what a sweet memory for your daughter to come back to often!
From a daughter’s perspective this is one of the most precious things a mother could gift her daughter. It was a treat and a blessing reading your words of wisdom to your daughter.
All of this is beautifully captured and presented. And a wonderful reminder. Thank you for sharing!
~Haley
Ah yes, I hear you… watching our daughter get married a year and a half ago was a HUGE “handing over” exercise! I love your words of wisdom—thanks so much for sharing them. This parenting thing is quite the journey, and we never stop learning through it 🙂 Stopping by from Coffee For Your Heart.
Oh that would be big. It is such a journey, Laura. I have had to repeat to myself “Release. Release.” as my kids have grown older.
Absolutely beautiful. This hits close to home as my 23 YO daughter begins to embark on her nursing career and start life on her own. I think I just cried a little as I wrote that …
I was not raised Christian and didn’t become a follower until my children were in their teens. If only I had these seven tips given to me from a loving mother that I could have passed on to my children… What wise words from a wise and loving mother.
I especially love #2. Thanks so much for sharing these little treasures.
Pam, I’m sure your kids can see firsthand the change that Christ brings in a life. We’re at the same point…I’m listening to lots of medical conversations these days. 🙂
Such a sweet post, thank you for blessing me (and others) by sharing it. My oldest is 21, in college… my second is graduating in June… life is speeding by and systematically they are each getting their files as well. You’ve helped remind me, this growing up thing, is a beautiful transition if we view it through the right lens!
I can relate with the tug at your heart when it is time to hand over the file or the contents of the file.
Lisa,
You captured the “release” so beautifully! Kellie got married in May and I have been stumbling through how to treat her as a married, independent woman when I close my eyes and still see her as a child. I guess I need to hand over her file now. Sigh.
The release is hard but so right! You’ve done well with your girl, Karen.