Moving Grief When God Tells Us To Go

Grief is broader than mourning the death of a person. Moving grief is real, even when a relocation is right and good. While there’s excitement at embracing the new, there’s also sadness at leaving people, churches, and communities we love. Today Becky Beresford shares about moving grief when God tells us to go.

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I remember last summer when God told me change was coming. I was hesitant when I heard his voice because usually when circumstances changed in my life, it also corresponded with the grief of letting go.

The familiar fear began to well up inside, but then God met the upcoming challenge with words of comfort.

Change was coming, and while it would definitely be hard, it would also be good. Good for our family. Good for our marriage. Good for our healing. Good for my walk with Jesus.

Little did I know, the Lord was about to call our family across the country, moving us from the familiar cornfields of the Midwest to the new seasons of the eastern South. We left many loved ones behind. We left memory-filled spaces and roads I traveled for decades. We left our old beagle with my parents (he couldn’t make the long drive in the car). We left so many parts of us that made us feel comfortable and safe, even if we knew our spirits were restless and our hearts longed for more.

We cried tears of sorrow intermingled with tears of joy. The thought of exciting beginnings was met with the reality of empty rooms and sad endings. As we see throughout scripture, goodness and grief can coexist.

So we said the hard goodbyes to friends and family and hugged them tight. My parents drove us out to North Carolina, maneuvering our belongings through the beautiful Appalachian mountains. Our boys kept asking why we were moving, why God was telling us to move away from Grandma and Papa. Tears would inevitably come and all I could say was, “I don’t know the answers, guys. But I know God will be with us because this is where he wants us to be right now.”

I’m not sure if they were comforted by the fact that Mommy didn’t know what God had in store. We were on this trust journey together, as is true for all God’s children until we reach our eternal home in heaven.

When God tells us go, to move past our comfort zone and into new territory, it can make us smile with anticipation, but it can also make us squirm. We humans like to be prepared. We like to be ready for what’s next because maintaining a measure of control makes us think we are able to handle the uncertainty of the future.

Yet, God doesn’t operate in a way that aids in our ability to plan and make things happen. He wants to show us what he alone can do. Think about Esther, Abraham, David, Joseph, Moses, and Mary… just to name a few. They knew the character of God and chose to obey his call, trusting God to bring every ounce of his purpose to pass.

All God’s children are required to do is surrender and say YES. The outcome of our obedience is fixed on the faithfulness of Christ, and we know he will never fail us.

A life of faith is not dependent on our doing or striving. We step out in faith because of what has been done on our behalf. Since Christ loves us to the point of laying down his life for our sake, we can believe in the power and provision of his care no matter where he takes us next.

If I’ve learned anything this past year, it’s that grief gives way to a deeper level of dependence on God. Stepping outside the familiar, letting go, moving forward into the future… all help us press more into the person of Jesus. Any grief that coincides with this process of change is met with Christ’s tender embrace. He sees us and carries us close to his heart when our own hearts are breaking. I still miss my family almost every day. But I also recognize a new strength in me because it is founded on God’s sufficiency, rather than those around me.

Pain is often paired with purpose and is a necessary precursor for growth. And growth with the Lord is always good. It may be hard, but it’s always good.

I was reading Romans recently and came across a familiar verse that struck me in a new way: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13; ESV)

We have a hope that abounds! It is greater than our human minds can imagine on their own. But this hope corresponds with what we believe. Do we believe God is capable of weaving goodness into the grief of goodbyes? Do we trust in his capacity to care for us, especially while we travel on unknown paths? Moving into the unfamiliar becomes easier when we remember we are walking with the Mountain-Mover, where nothing is impossible for Him.

We serve a God of unparalleled redemption and restoration who rewards those who follow his call. The greatest gain or gift we could ever receive from God is more of himself. He is our never-ending hope and in him our hearts find their home.