In the wake of loss, our churches should be one of the primary places to find compassionate help. Sadly, I know from talking to many grievers that not all churches respond well in loss. That’s why I’m delighted to have Cyndee Ownbey, a long-time women’s ministry leader, share how women’s ministry can support grieving women.
It’s been almost twenty years since my dad died after a brief battle with a brain tumor. All these years later, I still remember how the women in my church loved me and comforted me as I grieved. There was Sue on the prayer team who sent a handwritten note, Kim who prayed for my dad when I ran out of words, Rachel who listened to me share memories, and Amanda and others who brought meals.
Two years later, when a young woman in our church received an almost identical diagnosis for her father, I was uniquely prepared to comfort her, having walked a similar road. While my heart broke for their family, I was thankful God could use my grief journey to help someone else.
It reminds me of Second Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV) which says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.”
I’m so thankful for the women who helped comfort me in the weeks before and the months after my dad’s death. I have no doubt they were organizing support behind the scenes that I was unaware of. Having served in women’s ministry for over twenty years now, I’ve had the privilege to help organize support for many grieving women in our church. I hope you’ll find these practical tips helpful as you seek to comfort others with the love of Christ.
Six practical ways women’s ministries can support grieving women
1. Drop-off paper products.
Grieving families are often inundated with visitors. Extra rolls of toilet paper, paper towels, boxes of tissues, paper plates, cups, napkins, and silverware will be greatly appreciated. No one wants to run to the grocery store or run a load of dishes in those early days of grief. While you wait for things to settle and other needs to be known, this is something that can be done quickly and immediately.
2. Establish a point person to coordinate help.
Offers of help can overwhelm women who are grieving. They may not know what they need, how to ask for help, or how to graciously say no. This point person can set up the meal train (and deliver the food if necessary), coordinate help for household tasks, and communicate needs to other church members and friends.
3. Offer to coordinate a meal for the family after the memorial service.
Recruit a small team of friendly, familiar faces who will serve with love and give the family space to grieve. Expect leftovers, as the family may not have much of an appetite. Plastic storage bags or other containers make it easy to pack leftovers for the family to take home.
4. Deliver a grief basket.
At our church, a deacon’s wives drop off a grief basket after things begin to settle (about 2-3 weeks after loss). They include a framed comforting scripture verse, a few healthy snacks, a card, a candle, and a book on grief, such as Lisa Appelo’s book, Life Can Be Good Again. The team also has a special grief basket for miscarriages with books for mom, dad, and kids.
5. Acknowledge special dates.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays often pass with an extra layer of sadness. A short “I’m thinking of you today” text will let them know you haven’t forgotten and they are not alone. I’ve found it helpful to put a list on my phone and on my calendar, so I don’t forget.
6. Create and share a list of trusted resources.
Think of the resources a woman in your church might need: a biblical counselor for herself and her children, a financial advisor, a grief support group, a trusted handyman, lawn service, etc. This list could be placed in the grief basket, so they have resources handy when they are ready for help.
While each situation will require personalized care, the suggestions above provide a starting point for support.
Support in those first days and weeks is important, but ongoing support is too. A church that grieves well with others will remember grief doesn’t end; it just changes over time. May God help you know how best to support each grieving woman in your church. May they experience the comfort of Christ through you.
Cyndee Ownbey serves as a mentor to thousands of women’s ministry leaders through her website, podcast, and Facebook community, Women’s Ministry Toolbox. She is the author of several books, including Women’s Ministry Essentials and Rethinking Fellowship. Cyndee enjoys training women’s ministry leaders and teaching at women’s events and conferences. In May 2026, she will graduate from SEBTS with an MA in Ministry to Women. Cyndee and her husband live in Charlotte, NC, where she currently serves on the women’s ministry team in her local church.
