When Life Feels Pointless After Loss

After the death of her husband, Dawn Mann Sanders felt unproductive and purposeless. She joins me today to guest post about finding hope when life feels pointless after loss.

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In the Bible, the creation story starts—you guessed it—at the beginning. Ironically, though, the beginning didn’t start with God immediately creating something. Neither Genesis 1:1 nor 1:2 says, “Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light.” No, that doesn’t happen until verse 3. Here’s how the Bible begins:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. (Genesis 1:1-2, ESV)

Unproductive and purposeless. The Bible introduces us to God as our Creator by declaring he created the heavens and the earth, then it proceeds to describe the state of the world before creation. God wants us to know what the world was like before he started to create.

The description opens by revealing that the earth was without form. The Hebrew word used here is tohu, and to the ancient Israelite audience, it meant something more than just shapeless. It meant “unproductive.”[i] Think about it. Before God’s creative touch, the earth wasn’t producing anything or serving any purpose.

For the Israelites hearing this story, the word tohu would’ve really hit home. They’d just left Egypt, their home for over four centuries, traveled through the wilderness, and encamped at Mount Sinai, God’s holy mountain, while God communed with Moses.

During those days of awaiting Moses’ return, confusion and aimlessness consumed them. As they surveyed their surroundings, it became painfully clear that they were far from the Promised Land flowing with milk and honey that Moses had described. Back in Egypt they’d cried out to God for deliverance and Moses led them into the wilderness. The wilderness!

Interestingly, some scholars even say tohu refers to a “wilderness”—a wild, untamed wasteland with absolutely no order where one can easily get lost. I can relate.

Six months before my husband Reggie passed, I quit my corporate job to work full-time for our ministry, A Cord of Blue. Our ministry served couples considering the transition from singleness to marriage. Reggie and I were a team, partners working together to support these couples, and now, with Reggie gone, I found myself questioning the future of A Cord of Blue.

Even though I was in familiar surroundings—our home—I felt adrift. I’d lost my sense of purpose and motivation, my will to go on. How could I continue without him? It was like my life turned into one big wild, unproductive mess. Total tohu.

Historical parallels: Reconstruction. When living through the end of the world as you know it, you may feel unproductive and lost.

Take the South after the Civil War. Remember your high school US history: General Sherman had plowed through the region burning everything in his path, leaving dust, ashes, and countless people homeless in his wake.

After the war, the South looked a lot like a wasteland. Everything familiar had changed or disappeared altogether. Those who owned property and plantations were threatened with the loss of their labor force due to the slaves’ freedom. The previously enslaved, though now free, faced the loss of their homes and livelihood, and they were food-insecure. Many people felt just as I did after Reggie’s death—lost, purposeless, and unproductive. Once again, tohu.

Historians don’t call that time period “Reconstruction” for nothing. And it wasn’t just about reconstructing buildings and roads. It was also about rebuilding lives and communities—finding a way to move forward from the rubble.

Now, if you’ve never experienced the depths of soul-crushing loss, it may be challenging to truly comprehend a life without purpose or productivity. However, for those of us caught in the clutches of such heartache, the struggle resonates deeply. Every day becomes a battle to find meaning, a quest for a reason to keep going. Our world undergoes a profound transformation, losing its familiar shape and morphing into an unrecognizable, unwelcome form. It feels desolate, as if nothing good can come from it.

Whether you’re stuck in a monotonous job that drains your energy and stifles your innovation or caught in an unfulfilling relationship that leaves you feeling stagnant and unappreciated, these unproductive situations can make you question the purpose of it all.

Or maybe you’ve had a creative project that initially showed promise, only to hit a wall of setbacks and obstacles that makes progress seem impossible. It’s like being trapped in quicksand, desperately trying to move forward but sinking deeper with each attempt.

And let’s not forget the unproductive moments when self-doubt creeps in, paralyzing your ability to make decisions and take action.

You find yourself caught in a loop of indecision, unable to break free. Every day feels like the movie Groundhog Day, with no signs of growth or fulfillment.

If you’re like me, unproductive situations can feel like the end of the world. It’s as though they’ve stripped away our purpose and potential, leaving us feeling lost and alone. But here’s the thing— just as the wilderness was but a pit stop, a refueling station on Israel’s journey to the Promised Land, our unproductive situations are only temporary.

God brought order and creation out of chaos in the beginning and at Mount Sinai, and he can do the same in our lives. It’s akin to watching a master artist skillfully molding clay into a breathtaking sculpture. God can take our unproductive situations and use them to shape us into something magnificent.

So don’t lose hope. As with the creation story, these moments of unproductivity might be the start of something incredible. Keep in mind, the story doesn’t end here. In fact, the absence of productivity you feel is a sign it’s just the beginning.