How to Grieve the Loss of a Ministry

When an unexpected ministry transition uprooted Sarah and her family from their ministry overseas, she found herself mourning the ministry she’d prayed for while trying to embrace where God had moved her. Sarah joins Hope in Grief today to share how to grieve the loss of a ministry through pain and disappointment.

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While living in Honduras we never had all four seasons. It was either hot or hotter. This was a big adjustment for me. I was used to freezing winters and summer heat. My favorite season was fall because of the colors and crisp, cool air.

Changing ministries is often compared to a change of seasons. Sometimes we step away from a ministry because we know God is moving us. The next step is right in front of us and we excitedly move into the new season. Other times seasons change without any warning and this can be so difficult. Either way, we can grieve the loss of a ministry we love.

After serving for two and half years in Honduras, our first term as missionaries abruptly ended. This was not something we had planned or anticipated. Unexpectedly, the non-profit decided not to renew my husband’s contract. We then had to begin life again in the States and start completely over. This was extremely painful mostly because we weren’t prepared for it. 

This ministry transition felt less like a change of seasons and more like a loss. All I could think about was what we didn’t have anymore.

Grieving the loss of a ministry can be hard because there might not be closure. Things might go unsaid. Hurts might not be addressed or acknowledged by those doing the hurting. Even when the hurt is real and painful, we do have the ability to grieve with hope.

4 Ways to Navigate Grief in Loss of a Ministry

1. Acknowledge what isn’t gone. 

One of the things we did early in our grief was acknowledge what we didn’t lose. It is always easier to focus on the things that are no longer there. I could make a list of those things and you could too. A counselor helped us remember what we did have. We did not lose everything when we lost the ministry.

2. Realize God’s move doesn’t mean loss of God’s call. 

I wanted to be a missionary my entire life. God led me to a husband who also was willing to serve God with his life. Together we surrendered to our call to be missionaries. When we came back to the States, it would have been easy to question God’s calling in our life. Did he still want us to be missionaries? At first, we really didn’t know if he did. Over time we realized no human could take away God’s calling on our life. It might look different than we had imagined, but God still wanted to use us. We did not lose our calling.

3. Take your questions to God.

Although God felt distant during this time, and we questioned choices we had made, God was still leading us. Through each step that followed, we were reminded God was still good and he was still in control. God never left us nor would he ever leave us. God never once stepped off his throne. Although it wasn’t our plan to leave Honduras, it was God’s plan. Surrendering to his purpose and plan for our life freed us to know God still loved us and was still guiding us. We did not lose God’s presence and leading in our lives.

4. Let God Use the Pain for Your Good.

As we think about the change from summer to fall, I can see all of the leaves changing color and falling to the ground. They are dying, but we don’t see this as a loss. The trees shed their leaves in order to prepare themselves for winter. The change of seasons is ultimately not about death, but about moving forward.

All of us experience unexpected changes in our lives. Maybe you haven’t had a huge ministry change like we did, but you probably have had some kind of unexpected change in your life. Whether that is in ministry, relationships, family, or job loss, these shifts give you and I an opportunity to grow to be more like Christ.

What if we see our great loss, although incredibly painful, as a place of growth? What we can gain from our loss takes time to cultivate. The trees don’t shed their leaves in one day. It takes time. But trees shed their dead leaves for a purpose—to grow roots in the winter.

One of the things my husband and I see now is how God used that painful transition to grow us in deep, spiritual ways.

We learned to redefine success as obedience to God. We found a deeper, more resilient love as a couple. The community we returned to in the States uplifted us and we grew to love God’s church even more.

Ultimately, we reevaluated what it means for God to be “good” to us.

Whatever lessons God has for you, I pray that in all of it, you always feel God’s presence and care over you in a close and personal way. His Word says:  “By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me…Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” (Psalm 42:8, 11, ESV)

God is with us in the night season. Each step we take during the day, however painful, is led by his loving hand. Grief is a season of winter, but roots are growing. God is still writing our story and it is he who has drawn the plot line.

God was not surprised or thrown off by the choices others made or the circumstances that caused us to leave Honduras. Neither is he surprised by the events in your life. God’s plan for your life is right on track. We can grieve with hope because God is on the throne and he is very good.