Oh the stubborn prayers I’ve prayed.
I remember it like it was just last week. Tucked under my double-wedding ring quilt, I’d pray until I fell asleep. Every night, as a 9- and 10- and 12-year old, I’d fill those last tired minutes with all the hurts and needs of a little girl’s heart.
Most of the details are lost except one. One prayer I pleaded over and over: “I’ll do anything You want, God. Just please don’t make me be a missionary.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t love the idea of exotic, unreached countries and the hero missionaries who stepped so far out in faith. I just didn’t want to go.
Years passed and I went into law and married a businessman. Though we intentionally taught our kids about missions and actively supported friends on the field, my recurring prayer as a young girl was buried and forgotten.
I was knee-deep in diaper bags and play days when that prayer resurfaced. In the middle of a Bible study on God’s will one afternoon, that childhood prayer came flooding back. For the first time, I saw it for what it was: Yes . . . but. Yes . . . except. Yes . . . on condition.
My heart grieved that I hadn’t fully trusted God with everything and I asked for forgiveness. God didn’t immediately call us into foreign missions, but I committed then and there to have a heart of YES.
Yes, even before I knew the question.
Just before Dan and I left for his business trip on what were to be our last three days together, God planted this thought: just say yes to whatever Dan wants to do. With two people in marriage, there are always two ways to do things. We were about to leave for Dan’s 3-day business trip and then another week of family travel. There would be lots of decisions – take this route or that one, go to this restaurant or that one, go hiking today or fishing.
Now, these aren’t divisive issues in a marriage. We were in a good place with each other and the years had sanded down many of our roughest edges. So I didn’t give it much thought when God prompted my heart to say yes. It was sort of random, but I took it as a challenge and, without ever telling Dan, I said “Sure!” to his favorite café in Miami’s Little Havana and “Great!” to his music on the radio.
And you know what? It was relaxing to the core. He chose; I agreed. Yes, before I even knew the question.
Little did I know those days of Yes would be a forever grace.
For three days, I tasted complete agreement, complete unity, complete rest in our relationship. I wasn’t manning the ship. Because I trusted Dan, I could say yes to whatever he asked.
What a mirror of our relationship with God. Can you imagine the rest that would immediately usher in if we just stopped all the wrestling, all the managing, all the doubting and had a heart that said YES. Sure. Absolutely. I trust You.
Yes before we know the question because God is a good shepherd. John 10:11
Yes before we know the question because God’s way is perfect. 2 Samuel 22:31
Yes before we know the question because God’s way is blessing. Psalm 40:4, Psalm 2:12
Yes before you know the question because you are the apple of His eye, his delight and He adores you. Zechariah 2:8; Psalm 18:19
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