The silence of scripture that Saturday after crucifixion for his disciples is profound.
How they must have grieved. How they must have replayed the sudden turn of events that led to their utterly shattered hearts. To their devastated dreams and unimaginable disappointment.
Could they even eat? Had they slept at all?
I wonder what thoughts were on repeat in their despair. I can’t believe this has happened. Never in a thousand days did I see this coming.
We prayed so hard after after his arrest. We prayed for mercy. Why did God let this happen? He could have done something. Why did He stay silent?
Maybe you’ve had your own shattered Saturday wondering why God stayed silent when you prayed your guts out.
I know I have. That early morning as paramedics worked on Dan, I paced the living room outside our bedroom door begging God out loud for mercy. Please have mercy on us, I prayed. We need your mercy, Lord.
I prayed with my kids as they huddled together crying audibly in the boys’ room. I prayed in the car on the way to the ER and I prayed my eyeballs out in that pin-drop quiet waiting room.
And yet, God did not spare Dan.
Instead, I kissed him one last time, memorizing every feature of the face I’d loved since I was 16, slipped his wedding band off and turned to head home and tell our children their Dad was now in heaven.
You could have done something, God.
When God doesn’t answer the way we want — the way we know He could — it’s easy to think God has stayed silent to our prayers.
But we can’t mistake God’s silence for God’s indifference.
God may be answering our prayer in a way wholly different than we wanted and holy different than we imagined.
My prayer for mercy? God has answered that prayer over and over since Dan died. As I write this a few years out from that traumatic morning, I can see all the big and little ways God answered my prayer.
God’s mercy came through the hands and feet of family and friends who sat with us in grief. His mercy came through casseroles and coaches and those who showed up for years to cheer on my kids. His mercy was in the incredible ways He’s provided for us, the wisdom He’s given me to single parent, the pockets of joy right in the midst of our hard. His mercy came as tears of comfort and grace that sustained moment by moment.
God wasn’t silent. His mercy didn’t come the way I wanted — by sparing Dan’s life — but the way He willed to rescue me again and again and again through grueling heartache.
God wasn’t silent on that Saturday after crucifixion either.
God was doing something. In that intentional space between Friday and Sunday, God was doing something that far surpassed what they could possibly imagine.
God is doing something for you too.
Maybe you’re in a space of waiting. A space of holding deep grief or tender hope. Maybe you’ve held it longer than you ever thought you’d have to.
Don’t mistake God’s silence for God’s indifference. God may be answering your prayer in a way wholly different than you wanted and holy different than you imagined.
Trust that the One who brought good from the unexpected pain of Jesus’ death can bring good from your unexpected circumstance as well.
*This post is based on an excerpt from my new book Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart.
Only 3 Days Left
When you preorder, you’ll get lifetime access to all six episodes + the 20-page workbook, 100 list and 50 journal prompts. But, you must claim the bonus by midnight Monday.
Plus when you preorder, you’ll have it on release day (most retailers deliver on release day).
If you know you want to order, now is the best time because it’s in stock, you get the preorder bonus AND you hugely support the book itself.