Learning to say no is hard. Learning to say no to really good things is even harder.
I re-visited this all over again recently when a friend asked me to serve with her in a ministry. It was a group near to my heart and I’d be serving alongside some close friends. These ladies had walked me through the hardest years of my life, loved on my children and me, listened and counseled. On top of all that, I admired these ladies. What a glorious opportunity to serve a group I love while spending time with people I love.
A win-win. And surely an open door from the Lord.
While everything in me was saying “You bet!”, the godly girl in me said “I’ll pray about it.”
And I did. I sincerely asked the Lord to guide the decision. But I also mentioned to God that I would make it work.
✔ It was a good thing.
✔ It was with great people.
✔ It was something I wanted.
The decision was as good as made.
Though my heart was already 99% yes, I had prayed about it. So I waited for God’s thumbs up that I was sure would come.
Let me just say that God can be very clear with 1%.
Through a series of circumstances, I became ridiculously busy. So ridiculously busy that the answer I’d prayed for became crystal clear.
The answer was no. No — now was not the time for me to take on this extra ministry position. I was a single mom of 7 kids and, as badly as I wanted to, I had zero margin left.
Maybe only women do this? But I cried. I knew God was right and I knew I could trust His answer as best, but I had so been looking forward to being with these ladies and their rich friendship each week.
And though it hurt, I knew God’s no wasn’t just best for me. It was best for that ministry as well.
I learned long ago that when God tells me no, He is likely telling someone else yes.
So often, we think that if we don’t do it, who will? But God’s no to us means that He’s already hand-picked someone else as the best fit.
As if that wasn’t enough, another lesson came hard on its heels. Just a few days later, I had to say another hard no.
It was another great ministry and one I’d been thinking about for some time because my kids and I could do it together. Family discipleship. It was just good parenting, right?
God had already shown me my limits. And so I sent my sheepish no.
That friend texted back these gracious words:
Be fully where God has you until He moves you.
She added:
I love the verse in Nehemiah when the enemy is trying to distract him and his response, “I’m doing an important work – I canNOT come down!” (Nehemiah 6:3)
Nehemiah was smack in the middle of repairing the entire wall around Jerusalem. Five times his enemies tried to distract him away from his work, but each time, Nehemiah told them no, that he had a huge project and would not stop.
I hope these words help you rest in God’s yes or no for you right now.
Be fully where God has you until He moves you.
So good Lisa! Freedom in the “No!”
Love you!
I really, really needed to hear this today. I’ve been struggling with a similar decision. This helped me to see God’s part and mine clearer. Thanks for sharing.
Sebrina, I’m so glad this helped! God’s no can always be trusted. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Thank you Lisa…
Hi Lisa,
Good to see you in cyberspace. 🙂
The thoughts in your note about “no” has been the resounding (re-sounding) message of my homeschooling – and now my post-homeschooling – journey. I learned (and re-learn) that I can’t say yes to God *and* everyone else.
A change might be in process for me this year, and it’s good to reminded (so many “re-‘s” walking with God!) that faithfulness where I am now is as important as faith that God is preparing where I will be later.
God bless you, Lisa, as you follow His lead. 🙂
Thank you for sharing on Thrifty Thursday. God has said “NO” many times in my life and while it hurt and I was disappointed I have been so blessed to see how God has used those NOs to enrich my life and bless others. The hardest is when he says no to stopping your child’s pain and suffering, but I know God will bless them and sustain us all through the trials.
Blessings, Kristen
Kristen, that is a hard no. You are right that there’s no other choice but to trust God in those times. Thank you so much for stopping by.
This is lovely Lisa. I’m so thankful God heard your prayer and gave you a clear response.
Sometimes a “no” is hard to hear/accept but as you have so graciously shared… it could be for someone else’s and that ministry’s benefit.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Wow. I love that sentiment your friend shared with you…that you have now shared with us. It’s powerful and exactly the type of thing I needed to hear right now. So, thank you.
Happy to have stopped by today via the SHINE blog hop.
Thank you Amy! Yes, her words so captured all that was in my mind!
LOVE this! I especially like that you point out that sometimes we feel like if we don’t do something, then there won’t be anyone else to do it… I think that it’s important to remember like you said that God may be preparing someone else to say yes to that opportunity, you just never know.
Wonderful post! ‘I learned long ago that when God tells me no, He is likely telling someone else yes.’ I love this! Sometimes it is not our place to take on something new, while someone else may have ample time, energy, and passion to do it! God has got this! Pinning! God bless!
Yes, absolutely, God has got it and I so need to learn to rest in that. Thank you for stopping by!
Thank you so much for linking this great post up at Family Fun Friday! I will be featuring your post on my blog at this week’s link up! <3
Thank you Misty! I look forward to that! I’ll see you Friday.
God really does say no sometimes, even if we wish every no was a yes.
I admit as a people pleaser, sometimes I say yes to things that I shouldn’t have. Especially since I got married, I realize that when I say “Yes” to everyone, I’m saying “no” to my husband if he wanted to have family time.
I do a lot at church, but I also try to limit it to some extent so that I get to be with my family.
I also want to invite you to my Retro-Repin Party beginning Tuesday at 8 p.m. EST. Here’s a unique party where you pick 1-2 of your cool old blog posts and share them in pin form. Come visit http://somebodysdinner.blogspot.com/2014/09/retro-re-pin-party-11.html
Thank you Julie!
This is so very true. About 1 1/2 years ago God told me NO to a big prayer of mine. It felt like the end of everything for me. God has used that NO to not only bring me closer to him, but to strengthen my relationships with my family. I would not be where I am today if God had given me what I wanted; we really have no idea what he sees and knows about the future.
God works all things for good, but it doesn’t always make it easy.
Cynthia, He is so trustworthy! Thank you for your testimony! <3
I love that God is clear with the 1%. What a beautiful way to share this!
I really needed to hear this today! I’m going to stay where I’m at and be all in until God tells me to move.
Yep, I’ve been there Lisa. Good word…”Be fully where God has you until he moves you.”
I’m your neighbor over at #LiveFreeThursday this week, and I’m so glad I stopped by! I have read several blogs now that speak to this same topic of God’s “No,” and it seems to fit in so clearly with the same word of “stillness,” that He is speaking to me. Thanks for this encouragement and confirmation that His Word is always for our best! –Blessings to you!