The headline made me stop scrolling: “Man Declared Dead, Comes Back to Life After 45 Minutes.”
I clicked through to read the details. The man’s wife had been woken up by his irregular breathing. Without any warning, he’d gone into full cardiac arrest and was rushed to the emergency room. The doctors had done all they could to revive him, but he was later pronounced dead.
When family was called into his room to say goodbye, his son stridently declared out loud that his dad would not die that day. Minutes later, the father’s heart began to beat irregularly and a week later he left the hospital. No heart transplant needed. No vegetative state. He was fully recovered.
Doctors were stunned and they declared it a miracle. The father said prayers and God’s work had saved him.
We’d also prayed for a miracle and begged God to restart a heart.
When I awoke to Dan’s irregular breathing and cardiac arrest, you better believe I had prayed. I had prayed the entire time I was doing chest compressions. I had prayed out loud while the EMTs were working on him. Long after the ER doctor pronounced him dead, I prayed that God would bring him back to life.
But our miracle never came.
Why is it that God does a miracle for one but not for another? Why are some miraculously healed but others are not?
Here’s what we need to know when God doesn’t give us the miracle we’ve prayed for.
1. Miracles are by definition not normative.
Miracles will never happen every time in every circumstance or they would cease to be miracles. Miracles are rare instances for an outcome with no human explanation.
I still wish we’d had a miracle. Maybe you’ve prayed for one as well. But if God met every circumstance with a miracle, well, they would never make the news. They’d be ho-hum, normal, predictable non-miracles.
2. Miracles are not about outcomes but God’s glory.
Jesus performed many miracles but they were never an end in themselves. They were always meant to reveal His divinity and display His glory.
When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” John 11:4.
And after He healed blind Bartimaeus, Bartimaeus “followed Him, glorifying God. And all the people when they saw it, gave praise to God.” Luke 18:43
Though our flesh wants every problem solved, this life is about glorifying God whether we get a miracle or not.
3. Miracles are not a report card on our faith.
The Bible is full of faithful men and women never miraculously healed or rescued.
Look at Paul. Paul had rock solid faith and he was filled with the Holy Spirit. He was no stranger to miracles. God had blinded Paul and then restored his vision, opened prison doors and even given Paul miraculous power to heal others.
And yet, God did not miraculously take the thorn from Paul’s flesh. Though Paul prayed for it, that miracle never came. Instead, Paul learned about sustaining grace.
Miracles are not a report card on our faith. Perhaps sustaining grace better reflects the faith God sees in us.
4. Miracles never define God’s character.
Maybe you’ve thought, “If there really is a God, and He really is good, then He will answer my prayer.” But we can’t use an ultimatum to prove or disprove God and His character.
God declared who He is in the Bible. He’s revealed Himself as sovereign, as good and as loving beyond our comprehension.
That’s true regardless of whether God gives us a miracle.
“But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8) Christ’s death and resurrection proved once and for all that He is God, He is sovereign over every circumstance and He loves us.
5. Miracles are not the answer to suffering; God is.
What if God had done the miracle we had prayed for and restored Dan’s life? What then?
Well, we would have celebrated! We would have skipped all the grief and been able to resume life as we knew it.
Temporarily.
While miracles may alleviate some of the suffering in this life, God has a far greater gift for us. The greatest miracle is that Jesus entered time, was born a baby, lived out a sinless life, died on the cross for our sins and was resurrected to new life.
We often want our miracle and forget the miracle God has done.
The gospel is the miracle we all need. It’s the only miracle that can alleviate all suffering for all time for those who believe.
We did not get the miracle we wanted, but God did answer my prayer. That morning, with rescue working on Dan, I’d paced my living room begging for God’s mercy. Over and over and out loud I asked God to be merciful to us.
While God’s mercy has not looked like what I wanted, it has been more than enough to carry us in grief and into the Chapter 2 He has for us.
Karen Smith says
Oh Lisa, I love this post. I just read it to my entire family. We have been praying for a miracle at my home for years. We would like our dad/husband to be healed. But instead God has chosen to show His power through us in our weaknesses. We know He can change his mind at anytime but for now we are to experience His sustaining grace! Thank you for your timely and wise post friend.
Deborah says
Thank you Lisa. What a beautiful way to help all of us who pray for that miracle to understand when it doesn’t happen….maybe not to understand because that still doesn’t happen but to maybe see the real picture … God’s grace.
I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a loving spouse.
My miracle was for the restoration of my marriage… I mourned the loss of a betraying spouse. Of course, the Peanut gallery says you are better off. … and I’m pretty sure they are right.
I still question everyday… but I know God has a plan.
My miracle didn’t happen… and your words of comfort help me make it thru another day.
Blessings to you and your family….
Melanie Redd says
Amen! What an honest and encouraging word today, Lisa!
I’m sharing this one!
Hope you have a blessed day.
Sure do appreciate you and your ministry~
Melanie
Kristi Woods says
Strong piece that spoke clearly to me, Lisa. I suspect this lands as a question many of us have asked.
Susanne says
…. it has been more than enough to carry us – so very true…..
Ir was the same in my family- after my husband died of cancer and I was alone with three little boys…. HE didn’t give us the miracle of healing- but HE was there and took care of us …. the carry using grief and into Chapter 2
But still- after 23 years there are times of crying, times of questioning… but GOD …. I can’t imagine how we should have survived without HIM
Thank you for your words
Hugs and love from Germany
Susanne
Betty Turner says
Thank you God for placing Lisa’s words at the right place and at the exact right time…God is ALWAYS on time for our better understandings!
Thank you Lisa!
Linda Neely says
Beautiful post! Spoke right to a heart that completely trusted God to heal my husband of his cancer. My faith in a miracle was so strong that when told it was time to call in hospice, I boldly told the doctor it wouldn’t be necessary (turns out it was and they were incredibly supportive and helpful). Though that was in 2002, your post is still timely. Thank you!
RebeccaLynn says
What a powerful and needed post. I think God still performed a miracle — in the work He’s completing in and through you.
Paulette says
I have had a miracle. I have prayed for years that my daughter would meet a MAN who would recognize her goodness. Well, it happened and I’m expecting that it’s a fluke—that I don’t deserve this. I’m scared to think that it will lead to a wedding and grandchildren. So I wake up crying in the night. I’m anxious; I’m short with my husband and I talk about the what if’s too much. I’m afraid to tell people. But mostly I’m afraid she’ll get her heart broken. I thank God each day for her and the gifts that He has given me/us. I feel guilty because I’m making an idol of this and I’m not trusting God. I thought about getting professional help.
Your article made me think so deeply about life, God’s plan, why bad things happen to good people. . . I know that we are not supposed to ask why. You are so wise and you’ve been through so much. Do you have any words to help me?
Dean says
When Paul and Silas were in jail they worshipped and sung to God in REVERANCE to HIM! They never asked to be let out of jail. It just so happened that was the miracle. I also deal with the “WHAT IFS”, Inany areas of my life of buisiness and family. I am a dad to a wonderful wife and 4 girls. I realize each day that I am to be solely chasing God, and not and experience or a feeling… Or leaning on myself. God is sovereign and HIS will in my life WILL be done. Don’t believe any other lie that our enemy has. Just remember the TRUTH overrides the lie! Let the TRUTH reign in your heart, and then the feeling will come and your bad thought habbits will change. To HIM be the Glory! Never chase a miracle, but chase God.
Barb says
Lisa, thank you for giving real life words to pain and heartache as well as real hope based on the Word of God. This post is beautifully timed as the miracle that I hoped for didn’t come, but I trust that God has something better planned.
Rachel Lambert says
Thank you for this well-timed post, Lisa.
Arlene says
Lisa, your faithfulness in serving, praising, the LORD; trusting and giving HIM glory in all things inspires me so much. Also, read each post from your readers and was encouraged by their testimonies as well.
Being reminded of the trials of others helps encourage me to not lose hope. My hope is to be in HIM and HIM alone no matter what is going on around me … the choices and consequences of others and the pain that it brings in their lives and not being spared … to trust that GOD is still sovereign … It has been so hard for me, I am embarrassed to say.
Your words of TRUTH bring a renewed hope from the TRUTH when I have been so pressed down lately.
You are such an example of what I depreately desire to be, Lisa … love you girl…💕
Kristy says
“We often want our miracle and forget the miracle God has done.” So true. Thank you for using your own painful story to help explain this tough question. I’m saving this post so I can refer back to it when I need a reminder!
Betsy de Cruz says
Such a thoughtful piece, Lisa. I get so discouraged by teaching that implies our faith is lacking if the miracles don’t come. Your first point is brilliant and true. We do still have hope in our Faithful God, even when the miracle doesn’t happen. I loved this: “While God’s mercy has not looked like what I wanted, it has been more than enough to carry us in grief and into the Chapter 2 He has for us.” I’ve seen it to be true in my own life as well.
Stephan D says
My 29 year old son died because of a medical mistake in a hospital. He was mistakenly given more sodium than his system could tolerate and died a horrible death 24 days later. Day by day, he lost the ability to walk, speak, swallow, move his limbs. and eventually the ability to breath as his lungs filled with fluid. My son was kind… Was honorable and was a Christian. He never had the chance to be married.. Never had the chance to have a family. We will never have the opportunity to love him and his family. The loss is unbearable… One friend said to me “this was God’s will.” I snapped back: “God gives us free will.. He doesn’t decide that someone is to be murdered, or harmed, or in a terrible accident. That’s not my God.” If it were not for our other children and grand-children, I would not be willing to go on. The pain is unbearable.
Meg says
I cannot understand. It seems to be that God is arbitrary in his decisions. Didn’t Christ say: ask and you shall receive? If we pray in our need, why doesn’t he listen? If he listens, why does he leave us in the dark? I wish I had your faith; in my case, I’m afraid I need a miracle to believe. I know I may sound like a mercenary, but I don’t think I can glorify God until I know he exists. I need a miracle and then, oh, how will I sing His graces!
Laura Gritu says
Hmmm.,,,the former post is interesting. Read above. It states “I need a miracle to believe”. It’s almost a contingency/ultimatum relationship. Although I’ve been struggling like so many others have stated in their comments, I still believe in our Lord’s Greatness and Glory. I truly believe that God’s miracles happen on his own time table, I believe that he has a better plan for all of us. Maybe a plan that we don’t understand or accept (like in some cases) bit nevertheless, we have to trust in Him, believe in Hom and accept HIS plan for our life here on earth.
TVB says
I am sitting playing worship music. Crying on and off in disbelief. We warred and prayed and declared healing for my pastor. I have been friends with his wife since I was a pre-teen. We all went to college together. EVERYONE in our church family and friends stood on scripture. Fasted. We were full of hope. He even said he was coming home. We all said a miracle would happen. But he died. Within 2 weeks a strong, vibrant, lover of Jesus and family man went to his eternal home. And I am just stunned. And I decided to google “when God didn’t give you a miracle” and your article popped up. It has helped my broken heart and numb mind. THANK YOU. Thank God for inspiring you to write this article.
Lisa Appelo says
I’m so sorry for your deep loss. God hears our prayers and fasting is never wasted for us spiritually. Praying for your congregation and your pastor’s family as he is deeply mourned.
Benetta says
Our Pastor died and this article has given me a different perspective on not getting the miracle of recovery after corporate prayer and fasting. This article is comforting.
Lisa Appelo says
I’m so sorry for your deep loss. Knowing that God hears our prayers and is always kind, helps us turn our eyes to Him. I’m praying now for your congretation and your pastor’s family in this grief.