I remember growing up, the feeling in the house when my dad was out of town. Our dinners were much less formal and we kids would get so excited on those rare nights because we’d get to eat in front of the tv. I can still picture my mom pulling our little tv on a wheeled stand over to the table and the simple, kid-friendly meals she would serve on those nights.
That’s how it has felt since Dan passed away. For the longest time, it felt like he was just out of town. And because he wasn’t home for dinner, it just seemed easier to let the kids eat in front of the tv. We haven’t done it every night, but we’ve done it way more than I’d like.
Add in kids at sports practices and meetings in the evening and dinners at home altogether are becoming more and more scarce.
The Family Dinner Project says ~
Most American families are starved for time to spend together, and dinner may be the only time of the day when we can reconnect, leaving behind our individual pursuits like playing video games, emailing and doing homework. Dinner is a time to relax, recharge, laugh, tell stories and catch up on the day’s ups and downs, while developing a sense of who we are as a family.
And it goes on to cite other benefits: family dinners at the table are linked to lower rates of the serious issues plaguing today’s teens (depression, drug abuse, teen pregnancy and eating disorders), lowers family obesity, helps kids improve vocabulary and gives them a sense of family culture and history.
So, in this 31 days of {re}building family, one of my top priorities is to make dinner and eat at the table. Even if one of the kids is at ball practice. Even if there’s an empty chair at the head of our table.
We need the conversation together. We need to relax and look each other in the eyes and smile over our day. We need to get unplugged, eat unrushed and enjoy the white space that dinner around the table provides.
Proverbs 15:17 says: “Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred.”
I’ve changed that up a bit to say ~
Better is a simple dinner at the table with love than a steakhouse dinner in front of the tv.
Starting tonight. I have a simple dinner planned (breakfast casserole) and I’ll update this post with pictures tonight!
(ETA: Here we are. Golf match went long; one child felt sick but we made it!)
I hope that your families are also enjoying nightly dinners around your table. Feel free to post pictures of your family dinner in the comments.
You can read the whole 31 days to {re}building family here or subscribe at the top of this page.
Love this! I agree and this is on my to-do list too! Sports makes it challenging. Thank you, Lisa.
Sports can wreak havoc! But I’m going to be jealous for those nights that we get at home.
I too have always felt this is so important. I grew up in a large family with five brothers. My mom worked outside of the home . All my brothers played different sports and I had dance and/or cheer. Yet, I dont really remember us ever not having dinner together as a family. Somehow it seemed to always happen. At least over 80% of our “remember when” stories as a family all seem to revolve around something during those dinner times. As hard as it may be, i do like to try to make that happen for my family as much as i possibly can.
So it can happen even in a big, busy family. I now have 2 kids down with a bug, so family dinner is going to be really small tonight. One step forward…:)
Lisa, you are so right that the family meal is very important – especially in our busy lives. Growing up, as the oldest in a family of five children, we had family dinner every night. It was such a special time of laughing and sharing together. We’ve tried to keep that going in our family, and my husband was almost maniacal in his demand that everyone be at the table at the exact same moment. But we had such a good time, eating together and sharing highlights of our days. Now, with Victor having passed away, it is as you said – hard to look at his empty chair. But we soldier on and keep the commitment to family time at the dinner table. When we finish dinner, sometimes I read to them – right now I’ve started reading them “A Travel Guide to Heaven” (thought it might be helpful to picture their father in such a great place!). I’m thankful for friends who have brought us meals to help make life a little easier. Whenever my husband was away at dinner time (very infrequently), the kids were thrilled to have homemade waffles with strawberries & whipped cream, and I was conditioned to not cooking on those nights. It’s difficult to get the energy for preparing a dinner with him permanently gone, but whatever is eaten doesn’t matter as much as that precious time spent together in each other’s company. Thanks for your great blog!
So Sweet
I have always felt that there is more to dinner than the food.
I have always felt that there is more to dinner than food.