Today I was hit with a choice: I could either write about {re}building family or I could actually do it.  Since I’m just posting this at 7:15 tonight, you can tell that I decided to do the parenting.

Today was Seth’s last golf tournament. Even though we homeschool, he’s allowed to play sports with a local school.  This is his second year on the golf team and I have not been able to go to every tournament because of needing to drive or pick up other kids.

So today, after wrapping up school, we rented a cart, got out on the course and watched some golf. It was a gorgeous day and I can see why golfers love being out on these manicured greens with the water and wildlife.

Here’s my senior:

Teeing off:

And some other fun shots from our afternoon:

This was a popular bush!

As I postponed my writing to watch Seth’s last golf tournament, I remembered Dan making a similar decision.  He came home from traveling one day, and I reminded him about a men’s meeting on fatherhood. I remember so clearly him chuckling and saying, “I’m going to BE a dad tonight, not talk about HOW to be one.”

I’ll be back tomorrow with what I had planned to write today. Hoping you also had a day of in-the-trenches {re}building family.

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One of the keys to building a strong family is praying for our children. This is our unseen labor, sometimes in the wee hours –many times through tears — as we seek God not just for us in our parenting, but for our children.

I’ve always gone to God for the hard stuff. The days when parenting saps everything from me and I need His strength. Or the times when I have no idea how to deal with an issue.  And especially I’ve prayed all those times that I needed God to guide me in making decisions with my kids.

But there are the even harder days. The days when the only thing we can do is lift our children to God and ask Him to fix it.

I cannot fix seven broken hearts. In all of my parenting, I will never be able to repair the gaping hole left from their dad’s death. I can love them, cry with them, listen to them, but ultimately, I cannot fix it. I feel like I’m at the Red Sea and we want to cross it and get every single one of us safely to the other side of grief and there is an enemy who would like nothing better than to take us down right here and the only thing I can do is pray and trust a good and loving God.

So as I work intentionally to {re}build family, one of my foundations is prayer for my children.  For me it’s been two-fold. First, I have to daily turn those things over to God in prayer that I cannot fix and trust Him.

And second, proactively, I pray scripture for my children. In the last three years, I have written our name and date beside many verses in the Bible that I’ve prayed for our family and for my children.

From Psalm 60 (5.4.2012) ~

You have shaken the land and torn it open;
mend its fractures, for it is quaking.
You have shown your people desperate times;
You have given us wine that makes us stagger.
But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner
to be unfurled against the bow.
Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.

And from Jeremiah 17:7-8 (on 7.21.2011) ~

But blessed is the man who
trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit. 

That will lift your head!

When you are utterly dependent on God to fix what you as a parent cannot, scripture gives us hope. What are your children struggling with? What do you want to pray for them in expectancy? As you’re reading through the Bible, use scripture to pray over and for your children.

Jesus told us to “always pray and not give up.” Luke 18:1. Only eternity will reveal how God uses our prayers offered in trust and hope on behalf of our children.

To see the entire 31 Days to {re}building family click here. 

Linked with Good Morning Girls

I remember growing up, the feeling in the house when my dad was out of town. Our dinners were much less formal and we kids would get so excited on those rare nights because we’d get to eat in front of the tv. I can still picture my mom pulling our little tv on a wheeled stand over to the table and the simple, kid-friendly meals she would serve on those nights.

That’s how it has felt since Dan passed away. For the longest time, it felt like he was just out of town.  And because he wasn’t home for dinner, it  just seemed easier to let the kids eat in front of the tv.  We haven’t done it every night, but we’ve done it way more than I’d like.

Add in kids at sports practices and meetings in the evening and dinners at home altogether are becoming more and more scarce.

The Family Dinner Project says ~

Most American families are starved for time to spend together, and dinner may be the only time of the day when we can reconnect, leaving behind our individual pursuits like playing video games, emailing and doing homework. Dinner is a time to relax, recharge, laugh, tell stories and catch up on the day’s ups and downs, while developing a sense of who we are as a family.

And it goes on to cite other benefits: family dinners at the table are linked to lower rates of the serious issues plaguing today’s teens (depression, drug abuse, teen pregnancy and eating disorders), lowers family obesity, helps kids improve vocabulary and gives them a sense of family culture and history.

So, in this 31 days of {re}building family, one of my top priorities is to make dinner and eat at the table. Even if one of the kids is at ball practice. Even if there’s an empty chair at the head of our table.

We need the conversation together. We need to relax and look each other in the eyes and smile over our day. We need to get unplugged, eat unrushed and enjoy the white space that dinner around the table provides.

Proverbs 15:17 says:  “Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred.”

I’ve changed that up a bit to say ~

Better is a simple dinner at the table with love than a steakhouse dinner in front of the tv.

Starting tonight. I have a simple dinner planned (breakfast casserole) and I’ll update this post with pictures tonight!

(ETA: Here we are. Golf match went long; one child felt sick but we made it!)

I hope that your families are also enjoying nightly dinners around your table.  Feel free to post pictures of your family dinner in the comments.

You can read the whole 31 days to {re}building family here or subscribe at the top of this page.