What if we lived like we were dying? What would you change about your life? What would you stop doing and what would you do more of?
That’s what a pediatrician in Cape Town, South Africa asked his patientsterminally ill children. What did they enjoy and what gave life meaning?
Then he tweeted the top 10 answers and his feed exploded.
The answers were stunning in their simplicity.
What do kids who are dying say gives life real meaning?
Ice cream.
Books read and stories told by their parents.
Kindness from a friend or caregiver or grandmom.
Pets.
Laughter.
Topping the list of things that mattered most to these dying children — family.
“They all valued time with their family. NOTHING was more important,” Dr. McAlpine wrote.
What’s missing from the list is also telling.
Not one child said he wished he had watched more television or spent more time on Facebook.
And their only regret? That they had worried so much about what others thought of them.
So much wisdom from those so young. In their short lives, these kids have discovered what it takes some of us a lifetime to realize.
It’s a gift really – to know what really matters.
What about you? If someone told you today that you were dying, what would you say matters most?
Because you are dying. We all are.
Here’s the deal: we are all terminal.
Would the things we spent doing today, the things we spent worrying about and wringing our hands over, even make it on the list? Would today’s frustrations and distractions and pulls be on our list of what matters most?
What would we change about our life if we knew, really understood, that we are dying? What would we stop doing and what would we start doing intentionally?
If I lived like I was dying, I’d no longer begrudge my kids’ interruptions when I’m working or their too-long stories when I trying to get something done.
I’d tune in and listen and memorize every expression and note each time their eyes lit up. I’d explore the rabbit-trails of their wonder and marvel with them at their curious questions over this world.
I’d care more about welcoming those into my home and less about whether my house was perfect.
I’d care more about those sitting around my table and less about how many calories were on my plate.
I’d let go of the trivial and testy frustrations – the slow grocery line with the elderly customer, the dent in the van from a child’s bike handle, the glorious humidity that makes just-done hair go wild.
If I lived like I was dying, I wonder if I could even stay mad? Relationship would win out over being right and who wants to waste moments and memories and leave a sting of words?
I’d say I love you out loud a lot. And I’d try to be a good student of showing that love with touch and time, patience and compassion, words that cherish and encourage.
If we lived like we were dying, our world would become smaller in some ways and bigger in others. We’d have clarity over what to cling to and what to let go of.
Living like we’re dying would affect everything — our time and our treasure; our words and our work; our prayers and our praise.
We are the dying.
If we lived like we were dying, what really matters?
The honest simplicity of these kids can change our life if we will let it.
They’ve given us their hard-won wisdom of what matters.
Still, it’s not just living like we’re dying.
For the believer, we are dying to self, that we might live.
“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Gal. 2:20.
Thank you so much!
What an amazingly beautiful post, Lisa!
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Thank you, Jennifer. xoxo
Wow…I’m not crying, really… Thank you – simply beautiful! xoxo pax, amanda
The twitter thread left me tearing up as well. Wisdom from the mouth of babes.
I would say good bye to my love ones. I never got to say that to my husband and son
I’m so sorry, Jackie. We don’t always get that “closure” so much talked about. Praying for you now.
Last night when I read your IG story to Camilla, she cried! We both did. Such perspective-changer when you think, “What if this week was my last?” Just last Thursday my son called from the other side of the world (9 hr time difference) JUST WHEN I was blow-drying my hair and trying to get ready for 10 people to come for soup, salad, and Bible study. I bit the bullet and talked to him for 10 minutes or so, even though focus was hard. 🙂 I’m glad I did. Totally worth it. Trying to learn here.
Oh, that is SO hard! You are a wise mama. A dear friend always tells me to take the call and let them be the one to end it. xoxo
Thank you, so uplifting to hear what those young children had to day!!
It’s such perspective!
Thank you for rocking my world with this, dear friend. <3
It’s caused me to pause long and hard.
Yes, to memorize the wonder in my 1 year old grandson’s eyes, to smell my husband’s unique smell, to kiss the necks of my three children, to stroke my purring kitty – to truly spend time in my God’s Word without the ticking clock calling me away.
All good treasures. Love it.
I did see this on Facebook too. And I did stop and read it. It really made me think on what I hold as important and what really is Inportant. My son phone from the uk late last night just as I was preparing for bed. I decided that it was more important to speak with him than it was to sleep. I may never get this gift again and it was so nice just to chat one on one with him. We have an 11 hour time difference here in Australia with him so fur once we were actually chatting on the same day.
Availability isn’t always convenient, is it? What a good lesson…I’m trying to get that down deep.
Lisa, I so appreciate the poignancy of your post. So much truth here. I teared up reading some of the kids’ responses.
How many times have I had my priorities out of whack for what’s really, truly most important? I’m with you. I need to be more intentional about being all in each moment with my kids, my husband, my extended family. I need to be more about sharing Jesus with those in my life who don’t yet know His love for them.
You’ve given me much to think about. Thank you for that.
I’m visiting from Jennifer Dukes Lee’s place today.
Hi Lisa
A friend sent me your words of wisdom on dying and to live where we are at & to live while knowing we are all dying.
I lost my husband seven years ago & it has taken me till now for the fog to be released. In part due to my getting very sick not long after his death. Since April of 2017 God has taken me on a beautiful journey of getting to know Him even more & trusting like I never did before.
The children that were questioned have it so right. To continue living & enjoying each day we have. Each moment is a gift in itself , that I now treasure. And have learned to live while knowing I could die in a moments time. My husband did. One hour he was here. The next he was gone.
Thank you again.
Blessings & hugs for sharing.