I had something I was writing to you yesterday. It was nearly written and I just needed to edit and put some finishing touches on it before I hit publish.
But laying on my pillow last night, I realized I had something altogether different I really want to say. So here I am, laptop back open, typing away at the keys with words that won’t let me sleep until I write them down.
It’s a simple message. Nothing really dressed up with a bunch of flourishes because it’s a place I’m still working through.
Some days I think I’ve nailed it. But other days — many days — I find myself struggling to win this.
I want to live fully where I am. And I want to love where I am.
But it’s so hard. Because I loved the life I had.
I wasn’t ready to let it go. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch but it was the life I knew and the life we’d shaped and all the life I ever wanted.
There were lots of deaths the day Dan died. It wasn’t just loss of my husband but loss of the meter to our days, the assumptions of our future, our hopes and plans and family as we knew it.
The good news is that God is healing. He has so tenderly rescued me from the pit of despair and pain that were those first years of grief and set my feet on the rock of His hope.
But there are days. There are days I miss what was.
Maybe your life has taken a hard left turn you never saw coming and you find yourself struggling to live where God has you.
One of the hardest parts of grief is letting go of the life that was and taking hold of the life that is.
It’s a process. It’s not a one and done thing. We have to deliberately release the life that was and begin to root ourselves in the life that is.
This life we didn’t see coming can feel foreign, like we’re trying on someone else’s clothes and they’re too big and floppy. I’m the girl looking for my old jeans – the ones that felt at home and fit so comfortably with their well-worn memories.
This hard-left life doesn’t just feel foreign; it feels blank. It’s hard to re-imagine a future when the present is still being reshaped.
And yet, this is where I find myself. This is where God has put me.
And while I never saw it coming, God did.
God doesn’t have surprise endings or second-best options.
There is never a Plan B with God; only a Chapter 2.
I don’t want to just accept God’s will for my life; I want to agree with it.
To live where you are and love where you are is to agree that God got it right.
To live where you are and love where you are means THIS is exactly where we’re supposed to be and it has as much abundance and joy and satisfaction and laughter as the days before.
To live where you are and love where you are ensures we don’t miss the good here because we’re missing all that was there.
For the last few months, I’ve been using the hashtag #livewhereyouare on Instagram to help me mine the treasure that is life now.
What if we had a whole community of believers who agreed that God is getting it right? What if we fully faced this life as it is and mined the treasures that are here?
I’d love you to join me in community to document the moments that help you #livewhereyouare and love where you are. We’ll be using #livewhereyouare♥ to make it unique.
Show us your #livewhereyouare♥ moments. I can’t wait to see them, celebrate them and repost them.
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
Psalm 40:1-3
Thank you Lisa! Wonderful, wise words of encouragement!
Thank you. xoxo
Lisa, I can really relate to your feelings! Thirteen years ago my Christian husband of 15 years stunned me with the confession of a year long affair. Although our marriage was far from perfect I had thought we would grow old together and I really felt like we were so perfect for each other. Now I am in a different job in a new state with a different life than I ever expected. Although the most difficult time in my life, those first years of loss were when I felt God’s presence most and saw a hundred tangible ways that he brought me through with both rescue and blessing. Sometimes I find myself dreaming of and missing my past life but I like your perspective that God has us where we should be and in so many ways this life is just as good if not better than the one we had to say good bye to. I appreciate your strenght and reliance on God. Thanks for sharing this!
I love what you wrote, Karen. That you felt God’s presence and saw His hand in those years of hard loss. Isn’t God amazing to draw us to Him in our deepest need? Thank you.
“There is never a Plan B with God; only a Chapter 2.” Wow, wow, wow. Lisa, you always help me see things from a new perspective. My heart is stirring this morning. <3 I can't wait to use the hashtag! #livewhereyouare
Oh friend, when I realized that it was eye opening. To know that this might FEEL (sorry, I’m not shouting) like Plan B but it can only ever be what God has always known for my life. ::tears:: I can’t wait to see your hastag!
Happy Sabbath Lisa ! Aw… God is so good to us in many ways. I love that He designed & created 24 hours of rest from our weekly labors for us.
Your recent post about living in the present reminded me of Habakkuk 3:17-19 where we see the prophet choosing to rejoice and thank God through the barrenness of his life and the frustration he felt, the loneliness and the longing for something better. We simply get tired and we want relief ! We can all relate in one way or another; whether it’s the death of a loving husband in your case or a barren, loveless marriage with a living spouse. Maybe it’s the stress and heartache of a wayward teen or the physically exhausting task of caring for an aging parent or sick child. The blessed hope that we can hang our hearts on is that Jesus is building a heavenly home for us and we’ll be there soon ! We can focus on heavenly things while navigating the earthly challenges that draw us closer to a loving, ever present Savior. He will never leave us nor forsake us AND He’s coming back to get us and take us to heaven / that perfect home where we won’t have anymore tears or separation from perfect love.
“Come unto me all ye who labor and are heavy laden ( anyone out there in that place? 😉 and I will give you rest. “ … not JUST 24 hrs of Sabbath rest .. but an abiding peaceful promise of heaven to come .. a little piece of heaven here on earth …
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. “ Matthew 11:28-30
Keep looking up !
Beautiful verses and beautiful promises. Thank you, Kathy.
Such beautiful encouragement to continue looking forward, to essentially remain in trust of God. Love the # idea too, Lisa.
That’s it exactly, to have the eyes to continue looking forward.
Thank you for the encouragement! I left a Christian marriage of 21 years of manipulation, control and verbal abuse. It’s only been six months but I’m learning to truly trust God and trust God has a plan and it’s okay. What God does is always Good.
Lynn, may God guide you and give you His wisdom. Yes, He is good.
Another good one Lisa! Love you and continuing to pray for you.
Thank you, Terissa. xoxo
Oh how your words resonate in my heart! It has been 18 months since my husband passed away. By Gods Grace and with His strength I have moved forward, bought a new house, traded cars, moved back closer to family but so often I grieve what was and what “should have been”. Yes, God is sovereign, but trusting Him is not easy, nor pain free.
Wow, Karen, you’ve handled so much in 18 months. Your last line hits home….neither easy nor pain free, but praise the Lord He is trustworthy.
I love this, Lisa! I remember feeling lonely and displaced after cross-country moves, and holding on by my fingernails as God reassured me he was in control. Now, adjusting to kids leaving the nest and major turns in my husband’s work/ministry. The only constant is change, right? Thanks for sharing your beautiful perspective.
There is real grief in some of the changes that come at us. Thank you, Joanna.
Wow! This really hit home with me. I’ve been struggling with some life changes the last 4 years and this was a much needed perspective.
Thank you for sharing, Cheryl.
Thank you Lisa (always) for your posts. Have been in a dark place for too long and this was what I needed reminded of…Thank you!!!!
Thank you, Jamie. I’m praying you can see there is light ahead and that God’s Word will uplift you.
Thank you Lisa. So thankful for the One who is constant in this ever-changing world.
Me too, friend. I love seeing you reflect His love. 🙂
After my husband took his life at age 32, my children and I began chapter 2. After a few years, I thought “chapter 3” would begin with a father and husband joining our family. But after 39 years as a widow, I can honestly say chapter 2 has been wonderful and that God has taken such remarkable care of me and my family. Thank you for this devotion. I thank and praise God for His many blessings in chapter 2.
What a testimony, Vivian! Thank you for sharing. What a good, good Father. xoxo
“I don’t want to just accept God’s will for my life; I want to agree with it.”
This is what a desperately want too, Lisa!
Amen!!
My husband passed away 2 years ago and Valentine’s Day is especially tough for me. All of our friends are couples and it highlights the reality that I’m not not part of a couple any more. Your statement about not just accepting God’s will but agreeing with it really touched me. That is what I need to work on. Thank you.
It’s hard being one in a world of couples. Praying for you now, Vicki, that God will fill that emptiness and give you a sign of His goodness, so personally for you.
Lisa, ‘this is where God has put YOU’, right here. For me, today. I have thanked Him before for you and your testimony but I want you to know I see how God has continued to use you to proclaim Christ to a hurting and dying world. Your words encourage me to trust God as He and I walk through this life. When this world seems so full of disappointments, I am reminded of the words to one of my favorite songs, “When my world is torn apart, I need healing for my heart. I really don’t know how much more I can take. Trapped inside a cloud of disbelief and doubt, I only know one way to escape” – GOTTA GET TO JESUS! May God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry, Jackie
Yes and yes. I’m so grateful God walks with us in this world!
Lisa,
How beautiful and true these words are and I didn’t even know I needed them. We have been living an “alternate” life for almost 10 years with Mason’s epilepsy. There has been a new season of grief as we were hopeful he’d outgrow his illness but instead as he neared graduation they intensified. So all over again we grieve for the loss of the days of no worries about him being alone, him falling, him being able to remember school work from yesterday. It is a grief process and it is trusting that God has this! Thank you again for sharing these words!
Melissa, thank you for sharing . . . and thank Goodness for sustaining grace in the hard.
Our MC accident caused many hard changes but today I embrace those changes, despite daily pain, and choose to live where I am.
Love this, Nancy. Blessings to you.
Oh thank you Lisa for your testimony and encourage. I am from Puerto Rico and came here since 2006 and I am still struggling with the past things I was and had and a lot of time I feel stuck. Really I need those encourage words. Blessings!
What insight you give us, Nydia, about the different struggles we each have. So glad this encouraged you.
I’m the wife of a wounded warrior…which means my life is not at all how I planned. It isn’t all bad…some of it is very good, but it is different and hard and painful and sometimes I really miss my old life. I mourn what was supposed to happen- or at least the life I thought was supposed to happen.
I guess what I’m saying is that I can relate and thank you for sharing because this is exactly what I needed right now. God just used you to help me get off my pity chair and buck up again. Because #LiveLifeWhereYouAre
Jen, I cannot imagine your path but I can pray for yuo, your husband and family. Thank you for his service. xo
What a blessing this post is! Thank you! I thought I was somehow unique in my grieving the past, where life was effortless in so many ways. Now, after my husband’s five-year job loss, I can see how God’s grace continues to be extended to me and my family and that we draw closer to Him. In our old life, we were far from Him. I don’t grief that distance at all. Our present with God now far exceeds our comfortable past without Him.
God can use the difficulties of our life to reveal Himself in ways we never would have seen in the easy times. Yes and amen. Thank you, Angie.
Lisa, I knew I needed to read this when I saw it in my inbox. Life has kind of felt like going through fire at my house this week. 🙂 And looking forward to Chapter 2 isn’t so easy when we can’t see around the bend yet, and I HAVE LOVED living here. Yet I know I have to let go of what was to embrace what is and WILL BE. Even embracing the fact that home is hard this week. 🙂 God is in it all.
Thank you for putting my ‘new’ life into better perspective. My fiancé of 13 years passed away in December then found out Jan 6 that where I work is closing its doors after 12 years. WOW what a blow on both cheeks!!
I realize now that it’s not just Alan or the job I lost, it’s our future and such too. All the chapters we were writing together now must be written alone. 😢 But it’s all going to be ok with God holding my pencil ✏️.
Thank you for all your inspirations. 💕
Lisa, wow. Today is the first day I’ve heard (and read) your story. I know it’s been many years since Dan died, but I am sorry. I can only imagine how difficult those first years. in particular, were. To read your words today are a beautiful reflection of the work and healing God has done, and continues to work, in your life.
I think one way God has taught me to #livewhereyouare love where you are was as we walked the road of infertility. It was painful to watch others getting pregnant and giving birth, and to yearn for that. And yet, it was that season in our lives when I came to understand what genuine faith in God is, as well as the truth that He loves me perfectly, completely and passionately.
I will be looking for those #livewhereyouare moments to share on Instagram.
Thank you for your beautiful testimony!
Lisa,
I enjoy all your writing. I am a subscriber, but I don’t know how to access all the printables. I was looking at some posts from the past, and I would like to get the Personal Retreat Notebook from August of 2017. I have a link you sent in August, but it no longer works. Thanks for any help you can give me.
I have been a widow for almost four years, I so relate to what you have written, not an easy journey but God never lets us down.
It is a journey that I wouldn’t choose for anyone.
Thank you for writing.