Hope sounds heady engraved on a necklace in the mall store but what about when hope is all you have? It’s then we realize how thin we’ve let our hope become. Shauna Letellier weaves Biblical narrative into hard places of hope and shares how to hope in the storm today.
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It was an expensive, last-minute hotel reservation we didn’t want to make. It came with a seven-hour drive and a complimentary shuttle to the Mayo Clinic. With the help of a clinic scheduler and family members, my husband and I left our three sons with family, promised to get them home for their first day of the new school year, and scurried off to Rochester, Minnesota to get some answers.
For 452 miles I contemplated the appointment that might be the continental-divide of our lives. As the highway markers zipped by, I gave myself a spiritual pep-talk.
“Now, be a grown-up Christian about this. No matter what tests reveal or what kind of spots appear on thermal images, God is with you. No matter the diagnosis or the prognosis, God is faithful. Tragedy and illness, tumors and injury, are part of living in a fallen world, and nothing you will discover in the next few days will change the inseparable nature of God’s love.”
My head and heart knew the facts. Although I chewed my cuticles into hangnails, I had a sense of calm. A strange lack of anxiety.
I felt like a bonafide “mature Christian.” No tears. No tantrums. After so many years of walking with Christ, I could finally demonstrate some semblance of stability, and I secretly wanted to congratulate myself.
I had just written a book lauding dependence on God over performance for him. But there I was, sliding from waiting room, to lab, to exam room feeling like I was performing pretty well, thank-you-very-much. Like a woman gritting her teeth and powering through a storm–kind of like the Apostle Peter.
On the same evening that Jesus fed five-thousand by multiplying a few loaves and fish, Peter sailed confidently into the dark Sea of Galilee, just like Jesus had told him to. With a lifetime of maritime knowledge, the headwind they were bucking probably seemed manageable.
If you’ve walked with Jesus for a while, you probably know all the right things to believe and say. You know which scriptures to quote and the “right” words to pray. And yet, after a battery of tests or hours of rowing against the wind, we’re often reminded of our own frailty.
Thermal imaging was inconclusive. None of the top-notch providers could pin down a diagnosis.
Then came the news that more tests were needed. Sure, it meant another expensive hotel night, but worse than that, in my mind, it meant our boys would miss their first day of school. And that was the surprising and slightly unreasonable moment when I lost it.
Peter had powered through the agitated water. He was worn out. But it was the surprising vision of “a ghost” walking on the water that put him over the edge. Literally.
It was also the moment, when Jesus drew Peter, and me, to himself.
To Peter, Jesus said, “It is I. Come.”
And as I stood in the clinic hall blowing my nose and feeling helpless to get my boys to school, it was if he said to me. “Come to me. You’ve been trying not to need me, but dependence on me is good for you.” He was not frowning and expecting us to swallow equal doses of trial and strength like grown-ups. He was walking beside us, in the storm, until we were reminded that it is good to need him.
Oh Lord, the first day of school isn’t the biggest deal. But will you make a way?
Then, in this seemingly inconsequential request, he reminded me of who He is.
A deacon from our church “happened” to be in the town where our boys were staying with family. He was headed home that day and had plenty of room. He bought them red Gatorade and let them drink it in his very clean car.
Backpacks, school supplies, and three boys arrived at the home of dear friends who kept them overnight, snapped their First-Day-of-School photos, and drove them to school. God had mobilized his people to carry out a tearful request from a spiritual “big girl” who turned out to need him a lot.
In the big and tiny trials, whether we feel like we need him or not, we have this assurance: Christ’s power is displayed in our weak neediness. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9)
It’s no good trying not to need him. We are designed for it!
And where does our needy dependence lead us?
The same place it let Peter. To worship Jesus. His reliability is displayed when we acknowledge our need for him in every kind of storm.
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Shauna Letellier is the author of Remarkable Hope: When Jesus Revived Hope in Disappointed People, (where Peter’s story appears in chapter 7). Drawing upon her degree in Biblical Studies, she weaves strands of history, theology, and fictional detail into a fresh retelling of familiar Bible stories on her blog and in her books. With her husband Kurt, she has the wild and hilarious privilege of raising three boys along the banks of the Missouri River where they fish, swim, and rush off to ball games.
That was very interesting for me. Where can I get a copy of this article and where can I get the book
Thea, you can find Shauna’s book at many bookstores. Here it is at Amazon.
Thea,
If you email me through my website under the “contact” tab, I’d be happy to email you the article in a format you could print. Thanks for your interest
Love this. I’ve had similar circumstances. Thankful for a God who loves us so much that He gives us strength through faith in His Son!
Yes! I’m grateful too that God anchors our hope even when it feels thin to us.
Thanks for that testimony, Jeannie!
“If you’ve walked with Jesus for a while, you probably know all the right things to believe and say.” So true, Lisa and Shauna. Knowing with our heads helps when our hearts want to be filled with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Sometimes my head and heart struggle to live in one accord 🙂
So true Carmen! So glad we can count on what’s true regardless of emotions.
Agreed, Carmen! The head and heart often seem to argue. Thankful that God’s word is the final answer regardless of what the head and heart are squabbling about 🙂
Complete dependence on Him! It’s the only place I have ever found lasting Hope…although I am in need of constant reminders. This book sounds like a good reminder indeed. Thanks for sharing Lisa
It’s true, isn’t it, Carol? Part of me resists being in a place of complete dependence but once there, I realize it’s the best place to be.
“It’s the only place I have ever found lasting Hope.” Thanks for that reminder, Carol.
Thank you. It’s interesting… I was considering ways that unhappiness and content could coexist, if there is such a thing. I wonder what she has to say about that.
Each chapter is a vignette including a Biblical example of doubting and despair…but finding that hope in Jesus.
Brinly,
That’s a really thoughtful question, and I appreciate it. I think I’d look to the way Jesus responded in these stories, and even in his own death for us–unhappiness (sweating drops of blood!) and contentment (not my will but yours) were definitely present in the same moment.
Thanks for helping me think about that!
Having walked through scary medical things lately myself, (who even knew nuclear medicine was a thing?!), I love this. I need to make sure my hope is strong.
That is a tough place, Rachel! Hope rooted in Christ does provide stability when everything else is tumbling around us. xoxo
Rachel,
So sorry about your health scares! Even if your hope feels weak, the Source and Guarantor of our hope is strong when you can’t be. Praying for you today.
A few months ago I had to pick up my husband from an ER an hour from home and was in the same predicament wondering how I would get the kids to and from school. What a great reminder to remember it’s ok to depend on God and need him! He always helps us.
Sometimes these personal stories show us God’s faithfulness the most! I love that, because it feels like a personal love note just to me, though it may mean little to someone else. Thanks, Valerie!
Valerie, So thankful for our Father who sees and knows our big and small challenges in juggling the families he’s given us! 🙂
Beautiful testimony of how God always provides and makes a way where there seems to be no way!
Thank you for sharing. When one reads a story like that, it tends to bring home the fact that often we think we can do things on our own. Then when things go wrong and we are at our wits end, we realise we have wasted all that spent emotion on something we didn’t need to fix ourselves and all because we didn’t take it to God in prayer in the first place. Hope is the light at the end of a very dark tunnel!