Today marks the third year since Dan died. I started to write third anniversary, and while technically correct, it’s not a connotation I want to think about.
Three years seems, in one sense, like another lifetime. But really, it feels like he was just here. For months, I kept Dan’s leather briefcase right where he’d left it, next to his chair in the living room. As if any minute he’d stride through the door with that big smile and we’d pick back up where we left off. The books he was reading are still stacked on the bedside table with his Costa Del Mars perched on top. And I have no plans to clean out his junk drawer, heavy with buck knives and boyish trinkets and the smell of pipe tobacco. It’s comforting to look at his stuff still filling up our house and I want my kids to see his fingerprints all over our home.
But, man, so much life has happened in these three years. Good stuff, like our first son getting engaged and married and graduating college. And another starting college and landing his first big internship, packing up and moving out west. Dan wasn’t here to worry with me when our daughter flew (by herself) seven time zones away to work in Ethiopia for the summer. Or to see two of his boys run track for the first time and another start varsity football. In these three years, our 6- and 8-year-olds asked Christ to be their Savior and have been baptized. They’ve learned to read and ride bikes and mow the lawn.
And there is the mercy.
That God continues to give us life in the suffering. One doesn’t stop for the other. Moments of joy intersect affliction. It’s not sequential or linear. But woven into the days of despair for what is no more and what will never be again, God is and His hope resuscitates.
As the paramedics worked on Dan, I could utter only one prayer. “Have mercy on us, God. O God, have mercy on us.” Till my dying day, I will shout from the rooftops that God is Faithful and True. He has been merciful.
He could have kept Dan here for another 20 years. He could have prevented it altogether. But Christians aren’t immune from suffering. We don’t get a pass. God allowed our suffering and in His great mercy He has been very present in very practical ways and in very personal details. I could count hundreds of ways that God has lifted my head, given hope, guided decisions, straightened out my thinking, restored emotions, provided our need, blessed us, loved us.
“The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deut. 33:27)
“In the midst of affliction, my table is spread” wrote the Scottish hymnist James Montgomery.
My whole life I prayed against suffering. I see now that God’s mercy doesn’t keep us from suffering, but keeps us in suffering. O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good; His mercy endures forever.
Thank you so so much for sharing. I cannot express how your words and reminders of God mercy bring healing.
God is mercy and promises it to us. I only hope I have my eyes opened wide enough that I see it. Thank you Melissa.
Than you very much for sharing your story, Lisa! It has helped many.
Thank you for sharing God’s love and mercies. Thank you for the encouragement that God does not keep us from suffering, but keeps us in suffering.
Lisa, thank you so much for sharing your story. You have truly been a warrior through your tragedy. I sobbed through your story remembering so many fun times we all had together. Our minds just can’t imagine life being altered so much in such a short time. Parenting small children alone is never a thought in our minds as we are living our busy lives and making everlasting memories. But when the bottom drops out of our plans and hopes for the future, one thing is consistent for all of us, God is there! He meets us in the morning and lifts our heads off the pillow, He stands behind us to hold us up to take care of our children, He holds us tight as we collapse after our children are asleep, He wipes our tears as we cry out in anguish, He gently tucks us in at night and restores our souls as we sleep and He heals the brokenhearted. Without God, there would be no hope for a restored life. Thank you for continuing to encourage others and share the love of Christ through your own struggles and demands of life. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Sandy, yes exactly. Such beautiful words that describe how God meets our broken hearts.Sandy, I pray that you and I will be sharing stories of God’s goodness all through this Chapter 2 of life. xoxoxo to you.
Thank you Lisa again for what you are doing. This world presents much pain but God is good. I know that He is using your heartache to help many others through their own. I hope the golf experience went well. The kids and I are going to Trinity football tonight. God bless all the family .
Lisa, your words could have been spoken by me ‘My whole life I prayed against suffering. I see now that God’s mercy doesn’t keep us from suffering, but keeps us in suffering.’ Incredible that when suffering does come (but not in the way we thought it would come) that strength rises up. God bless and keep you & your family. Psalm 112.
Thank you for your kind affirmation. Psalm 112 is a hugely special psalm to me! Blessings to you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m reading through your series on fear and it has been very timely for me. What you said about comfort, expectations, agenda and entitlements makes so much sense. I struggle a lot with fear of losing comfort & my agenda (aka, suffering or not being able to care for my babies, etc). Reading your posts have put a magnifying glass on just how much of a hold anxiety has on my day-to-day life & parenting, and gives me encouragement to take those thoughts captive that i have let run rampant for too long.
I’m curious as to if the doctors gave you any answers for the sudden passing of your husband? Did they think the long road trip and prolonged sitting caused a blood clot to go to the heart or lung? I was tested for those previously and I remember them asking me if I had taken a long flight or been sitting in a car for a long time, so when you said that in your video it stood out to me. It must have been SO difficult not having answers at the time, so I’m hoping that you at least have a little closure as to the “cause”. Then again, there are many times in life where we have no answers and still must trust the goodness & wisdom of God. (as I am sure you know first hand!) <3
Thanks again for your encouraging posts! It is beautiful to see the faithfulness of the Lord in a circumstance that all of us wives fear. We may think "I could never make it through something like that" and it is comforting to see the way God has been carrying you & your family and providing for you.
I hope what God has taught me helps you get rid of your fear and yes, the doctors have given us answers. It wasn’t blood clot related though. I’m so grateful I was with him those few days so that I won’t ever wonder how he felt or what he was doing. That’s a grace from God. Thank you for your comment!
Can you direct me to the series on fear, please?
Hi Ivy, you can find that series here. https://lisaappelo.com/say-farewell-to-fear-part-i/
The thread of Jesus’ love and hope is strong through your story, Lisa. Although I cried in the midst of the words, the thread wove encouragement and peace, even into the heart of the reader. This strong faith you have, it’s a beautiful thing. Praise the Lord.
Thank you Kristi. Truly, our healing is from God alone and much through the hands of His people. I appreciate your kind words Kristi.
Ok I came over to visit after you commented on my blog today (about Evie and the 8-tracks and the station wagon dates) and here I am, having just read your story. And wow. Just wow. Thank you for sharing with your journey of faith with our Faithful and True God. I have a friend that lost her husband the same exact way two years ago. She was a pastor’s wife with two children that have also reached milestones since his passing. I’m going to let her know about your blog, I think she would find a lot of comfort here!
I’m going to be following you very closely, new friend! Also praying for your journey with your children.
Ruthie, thank you for your kind words and prayers. I’m so sorry for your friend and I’m sure we could share heart stories together. God is the lifter of my head and the love of my life. <3
just stumbled upon your story while looking for homeschool planning. thanks for sharing your story that God is writing. It strengthens my faith.
I appreciate your comment Jennifer and for visiting.
Thank you Lisa for telling your story. I am very sorry for the loss of your high school sweetheart, Dan. After 36 years years with her, I have finally reconnected with my high school sweetheart and we are moving in together. It is as if time has stood still and we are so deeply connected to each other’s souls. She has had a tougher life than me as I have been blessed with a good career and a family (Girl and Boy), so she is not as quick to embrace this as a God-sinpiured event as I am. I trust in my faith and know that with time and love, she will find a way back to the Lord.
Thank you again….
Bob
Thank you so much for sharing your story and inspiring others during difficult times. I admire how you find comfort in God, and encourage others to seek Him even when times may not go the way we want them to. Your video is beautiful and you shine with radiance. Thank you.
Thank you Brandi. All praise to God who heals the brokenhearted.
Your story is exactly what happened to my mom! I still remember walking into that ER twenty-two years ago and knowing what they were going to tell me. But God is merciful, like you said. I didn’t find out until two weeks later that I was pregnant with my son, which was a total gift from God because my mother’s last words to me the day she died were, “Go home and make me a brown-eyed grandson.” He was literally conceived an hour before Mom passed. We named him Seth because in the Bible Adam and Eve named their son Seth as a replacement for Abel after Cain killed him. Anyway, you’re story is precious and I love seeing what God is doing in your life!
Sherri, what a story. So sweet to see that God already had good for you in your pain. We have a Seth too and I love that name!
Wow .. the tears are streaming down my cheeks .. Your testimony is such a blessing, Lisa! I love the emphasis you put on God’s Word and the priority you make of spending time daily alone with Him. And because your goal is to do so much more than just survive .. what glory that brings to our Father!
I was not widowed, but raised four children as a single parent. It is not easy. I learned some of the things you said after my children left home, and am still learning and striving to be humble enough to know God’s presence at all times.
It is not a coincidence that I read this verse this morning, in my scheduled Bible reading:
Proverbs 15:25 “The LORD will destroy the house of the proud, but he will establish the border of the widow.” May the LORD, our Father, continue to establish your border abundantly!
What a blessing to ‘meet’ you today, in a rather roundabout, unusual manner. Your Pinterest pin (I rarely go on Pinterest, and have no clue how I found your pin) ‘6 truths when it seems God hasn’t answered my prayer’ led me to your blog, which I look forward to reading. I have also followed you on Twitter.
Thank you for sharing your story in such a transparent and God-glorifying manner. ~Joyce
Thank you, Joyce. I appreciate that verse! He says over and over that He protects that widow (and fatherless) and I’m grateful for that reminder again in scripture.
Hi Lisa,
I’ve just stumbled upon your blog today. I read your story which made me cry. I too theough your words have realised how much I’ve prayed to avoid suffering, and yet we are promised as followers of Christ that we will have trials and tribulations, but we are not to fear for He has overcome the world. Thankyou for your clear, honest and open posts. I’m inspired by your story. I lost my dad suddenly 21 years ago in a tree felling accident and then my mum 21 months later to cancer. It was a dark time for me but God truly was with me in my darkest hour and continues to sustain me, help me with my messed up thinking and raising my family. We have had major financial issues over the last few years, but I can truthfully say that the doors that have been opened and the provision has all been from God.
I’ll be praying for you and your family too and following you here.
Much love and hugs
Denise
Australia xx
Denise, thank you for your testimony. What a great loss you’ve had with your parents. Thank you for your kind comments and prayers.
Lisa:
Thank you for your web ministry. I happened upon you via Pintrest. Your story brought tears to this boy’s eyes. My loss is the loss of my marriage. While not the same as your loss, it brings with it grief, pain, loneliness, confusion, and perhaps many other similar struggles.
I look forward to combing through your site, reading about His promises fulfilled, and seeing the hope that has been played out through your experiences.
Thank you for sharing yourself and your journey!
Lisa; I came across your page after reading from Traci Miles post through my email. Thank you so much for sharing. It really brought tears to my eyes also, as I read your families story! I actually experienced loss of a spouse through divorce; 12 years ago, unwanted on my end but like you said “God is faithful”! I know it’s only through Him that I’ve come this far. I’m now seeing areas in the life of my 22 year old daughter that I’m having to pray over, but I know He will be faithful there also. I have a son who is almost 19 & still in my home so I pray that he will follow God’s guidance in his life. I have been attending a church that has offered a Financial Faithfulness workshop for 6 weeks; so at this time; after constantly feeling like I’m having to try to dig my way out of a pit….I’m seeking God for His wisdom alone because I know the world doesn’t teach us truth when it comes to this. Thank you again for sharing & I hope to continue to follow your story. Thanks for your encouragement!!
Hi Lisa~ I’m here for the 1st time.. my oh my.. was not expecting to cry! You are a true warrior!! And, I pray that God uses your ministry on here to bless thousands… if not millions.
So glad to meet you here, Ciara. Thank you for your prayer, for reading and for your kind words. They have encouraged me deeply today. <3
Tears. God is faithful
I admire your strength to put your story on the internet for us. Thank you for being generous with something so profound and personal. It will help others. I also lost a true love -to cancer. I did not think I was going to make it, but as it has been witnessed here, God is faithful! He brought me through. He gave me hope, He helped me seek Him as I never had before. I am happy to report that I received an engagement ring this Christmas from MY high school sweetheart and first boyfriend. We are looking forward to a happy future. I do still have moments of remembrance that make me pause, but I know the plans He has for me! I thank you for sharing. I thank you for demonstrating God’s faithfulness.
Hi Lisa,
I’m visiting from your guest post over at MSM. I’m so glad I stopped by. Your relationship with Jesus is so sweet and encouraging. Thank you for pointing to Him in the midst of suffering and change. I loved your post about looking back to thank God and looking forward to Trust God. My heart has found encouragement in your words. Happy New Year!
Thank you for visiting, Angela and for your encouragement. I’m glad to connect with you.
Thank you for sharing your story! It brought tears to my eyes but it is so wonderful to see someone who is using her story to help and encourage others. Thank you for being a light for Him!
Rebekah
I lost my husband on 6/16/12 to a very aggressive blood cancer; he died 18 months after diagnosis, two months shy of his 49th birthday. We have no children and both his parents were gone by then, although he has a sister and a nephew that I still have contact with. Friends mean well, but they drifted back to their own lives after awhile—God has been my Rock throughout all of this—on Him I can and do depend. Thankful to say that I am mostly past all the hard grieving and even embarked on a short relationship last year. The one way I make certain that none of this was in vain is to reach out to others on the same path. That is what you are doing with your writing and even though I just recently discovered it, I am enjoying your insights.
Bless your dear heart, Lisa. I cried as I read through your story and watched your video. Only God knows what you have been through, and He is using you now to bring such hope to all who visit here. I am SO sorry for your terrible loss, and I know you will see your dear husband again one day in Glory, where there will be no more tears or sad farewells. God bless you through each hurdle you face and give you His ever-sustaining grace. Sending you big hugs and much love, dear one.
Dear Lisa, Wife to my high school love and mom to 5 here. Thank you for putting my eyes on what matters. I can’t imagine how you came out of such a desperate place except by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for the hope you are offering!
-Jenny
Yes, Jenny, only by the power of the Holy Spirit…and the prayers from others that I could palpably feel. Blessings to you and your high school sweetheart …truly a treasure in this day and age.
Lisa, I know without a doubt God brought me to your site tonight through a pin on Pinterest. I, too, am a single mom. My story is different in that I am divorced, not widowed. And I only have two daughters, 14 and 4. But the road has been so hard and tonight I just wanted to give up. Satan’s lies had taken a hold on me and convinced me that God just was not there or if He was, He wasn’t there for me. Reading your story has given me hope to press on and seek Him more every day through prayer and reading His word. God Bless you! And thank you.
Yes, press on and lean in God and what you KNOW is true when your emotions are telling you otherwise. God WILL take care of you Kate.
Such a beautiful reminder of God’s love and presence. I came across your blog from another blog of a vastly different topic, no relation whatsoever, but your link was in the comments. Truly, I think I needed some encouragement, battling loneliness and missing my mom dearly. It will be a year and a half on the 30th. What I can attest to is truly God is good and faithful. He was so faithful prior to her transition and throughout and that’s sometimes the only thing that I can find to hold on to. Thanks for sharing your story.
-Christina
Thank you for visiting, Christina. I think there’s a forever ache when we lose a parent. Praying right now for warm memories with your mom.
Lisa, I am so grateful God led me to you via Jennifer Dukes Lee. I read your blog and then wanted to know more. I was so moved–and heartbroken–by your story, and yet I am so grateful that you have found our Lord to be faithful. While our stories are very different, there are common threads. My marriage ended at the 29-year point due to divorce, and our three sons were young adults by then. Yet it was out of that devastation that I experienced the very things you shared in the video, especially in regard to your daily time with the Lord.
I was blessed to be raised in a pastor’s home, but I was always so busy “doing” that I didn’t know the blessedness of just “being” with Jesus. Thankfully, God set that consistent time with him in place before my marriage ended and to also help see me through some tough times with my sons.
But it was in my aloneness that my closeness with Jesus deepened and grew only sweeter. I started filling notebooks with his precious encouragement to me, because I needed to remember his words of comfort and hope. And then he amazed me even further when he transformed my penned scrawls into a daily devotional book, The Listening Heart, that Regal Books originally published. Only God.
Again, I’m so thankful the Lord brought me to your site tonight, and I know he’ll be nudging me in the days ahead to pray for you and your family. I’ve had several losses in my life, and the path of grief is long has so many unexpected twists and turns. I can’t imagine the challenges you face on a daily basis of being a single parent of seven. I’m so comforted to know that our Lord is holding you close, and I am praying for you and your precious children even now.
Bless you, Lisa.
I should have proofread that–please add “and” after “long.” 🙂
Judy, I’ve walked with a couple of dear friends through that kind of pain and seen the same fruit in their lives. None of us want the hard, but God sure does use it to draw us to Him. Having been there, I don’t want to move an inch.
I just found your website as I was looking for a Bible study on Pinterest. I also lost my husband unexpectedly last Feburary to a massive heart attack. In April (2015) he would have turned 50, and we would have been married 27 years. And while it’s very comforting to know that my husband is in Heaven, the pain is almost unbearable sometimes. I can relate to so many of the feelings you’ve described. I know that God will continue to carry me through this and that that He has a perfect purpose and plan. I’m thankful that God directed me to your page. God bless you.
Renee, I’m so sorry for your loss. Definitely gut-wrenching pain and deep sadness. I’m praying for you now and know that God will meet every need. ♡
Hello Lisa, you stopped by my blog recently and I wanted to pop in and “meet” you.
I read through this series on loosing your husband. I cried and rejoiced with you as I followed along. I lost my mother suddenly and unexpectedly when I was pregnant with my 4th child. I had found a deep faith before it happened and trusted God’s plan. I was her only child and her and I had been very close. She always stood by my side, even when I wandered in my early 20s and she gently encouraged me when I began to re-explore faith… loosing her ripped a big hole in my heart and life… and one year after I lost her, illness forced a complete hysterectomy. In the midst of these tragedies a pastor who had lost a son and a wife in his early life told me “it DOESN’T get better”. Even now I look back on that misguided “advice” and my heart aches for him… that as a pastor he could not see the hope of Jesus in the midst.
I say all this because, reading your posts encouraged me. So many people allow themselves to be overcome by their grief and blinded from seeing the Light. In the continued roller coaster of my own life I have learned, just as you expressed, that being Christians doesn’t spare us from the pain… instead, for those willing to submit their lives and hearts, as you have, it simply offers the hope and truth that we are not alone when life’s inevitable pains make their way into our days. Your articles here are a profound testimony of faithfulness. I pray many more people will make their way to your lovely blog and find encouragement… it DOES get better when you trust Jesus. The pain may linger, but it doesn’t stop the joy we can still know. The hope and peace our faith brings.
Amanda, Thank you for such beautiful words. You said exactly what I’ve felt. Grief is hard. It can take us down so easily BUT Jesus is greater than grief and the hope we have in Christ is not just for eternity but for this life as well. Many blessings to you.
“Life in the suffering.” My goodness. Your story is so impactful Lisa. My heart aches for what you’ve walked through, but I’m in your corner and cheering you on as you courageously and faithfully walk out each day with our heavenly Father. I know your story is far from over and is going to touch countless lives. Thank you for sharing those vulnerable places, it’s a gift.-Megan
Oh Lisa, God must have led me to your post, as I was simply attempting to read a couple of “What we learned in May 2016” posts from Emily Freeman’s link-up page, and yours was the first I clicked on! I have yet to go back and read your post, as I immediately was drawn to your story or grief and God’s faithfulness. I have been moved to tears.
My husband is also over six feet and a born salesman. Thankfully, he is healthy and this will remind me to be ever thankful for having him in my life. My sister did lose her first husband to cancer at the age of about 26, after they were married only four years. She also drew so near to God, and truly got to know him as her husband, as I’m sure you’re experiencing.
Thanks for sharing your story. I know it will bring others hope and draw them to life in Christ! What a lesson and reminder that God is my first love; married or widowed. I need to spend that time with him and find my “everything” in him.
Praying that He will continue to bless, comfort and uphold you and your family as you follow him. I turn fifty in a couple of weeks and can truly declare with you that He is faithful and true! May he continue to use you for his glory and be everything that you desire and need.
Thank you so much. He has continued to continued to do just that — bless, comfort and uphold us at each turn. Blessings to you and your six foot salesman. 🙂
I came over to your blog via a linkup and came across your story. Wow…
I am thankful that you have your Savior to pull you through! Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you, Emily…God’s done just that.
Hi Lisa,
My heart hurt as I read your blog, and I thought “…tomorrow is not promised.”
Thank you for sharing and I’m praying for you & your family.
Sandra
Thank you, Sandra.
Hi Lisa,
Read your blog today. Absolutely heartbroken by your story but equally amazed at how well you’re handling things. I lost my husband last year after we found out he had lung cancer. We had him for a year, praying and believing for a miracle that didn’t happen (at least the way we expected). Our two youngest (daughters) were 20 and 22, and he felt they were too young to lose their father. I pray that the Lord Jesus will lead me to bless others, as you have and more, if He so chooses.
Thank you!
Hi Lisa — Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your testimony so eloquently. I connect with your story because I too lost my husband March 2015 , age 42, after a fierce battle with throat cancer. He started aggressive treatments in August 2014 and passed away 6.5 months later after spreading to his brain. So many mornings especially that first year, I spent in my closet praying,crying, clinging to the only truth I knew would hold me and my 3 kids up. God is faithful and so very present during our suffering. I felt often that God had me so tight I could only see what He wanted me to see — and He only allowed me to feel the weight of this loss in small pieces until I was ready and able to deal with it. My word through much of this has been steadfast — when I didn’t know what else to do God just reminded me to be steadfast in what He has shown me to do and what I know to do, mostly clinging to His promises even when they didn’t feel true. Thank you for your faithfulness — it is comforting and a great encouragement to know there are others walking this journey as well. I have three kids ages 10-14 and we are navigating this new road best we can and figuring out what life looks like on this side of loss.
God bless you!
Lori, I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel like I’ve met a kindred sister…I identify with so much of what you’ve written here. Oh God is good but it is hard. Though there is always, always a painful gap, there is beauty and good in life as well. Praying for you now, Lori.
Lisa – I can’t thank you enough for letting God work such strength, hope, faith and perseverance in you — because they have given me encouragement I desperately needed tonight! I am not facing a “severe” trial — but that’s not to say I won’t one day. And that’s not to say that our small trials are worth our tears — because they are. But hearing your story has given me such perspective – and a yearning to face life with greater grit … and joy! Tears were streaming down my face as I read your story – and listened to the video. As a wife and mom, my heart just absolutely broke for you – and your children. But how you have allowed God to write a new story of courage and faith, through such tragedy, is a miracle and a blessing! God bless you and your beautiful family! ~Rebecca
Dear Lisa, As I was checking my pinterest boards , my eyes were drawn to your post. While I was reading what you and your children went through these last years, I felt very sad for you all. What a great testimony you share with us about His closeness and guidance in the midst of all your grief and sadness!
It makes me realize again that our God is worthy to be trusted and that He knows what we can and what we cannot handle ourselves. Thank you for your opennes and I pray for you and your children His blessings in years to come.
Love You, Mieke Appelo from the Netherlands.
Dear Lisa, your beautiful love story brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know you but am so sad to hear that you and your beautiful children had to go through such terrible suffering. Your husband sounds like such a lovely man. God bless all of you. Your strength is amazing and uplifting. I am sure that your family are so very proud to have you as their mother.
Tara, thank you for your kind words. God has held us through our storm….He is so good. Blessings to you as well.
Thank you so much for sharing. I spend most of time fighting for small things and I stopped enjoying what a marriage and family is and the things that really matters in the life.
You are an amazing woman!!!
I am sorry for your lost.
Yessy, we can get lost in the minutia so easily, can’t we? Glad you’re here.
Lisa, How is it humanly possible that I have not seen this until just now? This is without a doubt, THE most moving and the most life changing video I have ever seen. I literally have…no words. What you have done for your family (and for yourself) leaves me in tears. Reiterating, YOU are my hero! Dan must be so proud of you and no doubt knows that your love continues and remains…unbroken. Your amazing strength and grace coupled with your innate ability to reach out and share both your grief and your healing with others leaves me speechless. Obviously, your talents are being shared “by design.” Thank you.
Jen, blessings to you friend. You’re making me tear up, which is pretty easy these days. Praying this place and these words are a slice of the huge healing God has poured into us. xoxo Good to see you. Praying for your girls and your family even as I write this.
Lisa, I can’t imagine how hard this was to live through nor to share here. Also, I can’t perceive how many you have helped and will continue to help as more find you and your story. Your beautifully told story reminds me to enjoy each day’s blessings and show my people how much they are loved!
Thank you so much for your awesome site!
Blessings!
Sharon
I don’t know how I got here, but all I can say, pain didn’t stop you from believing God.
Through your tears, I have seen a brave person full of faith and that’s a great lesson to me.
May the mercy of God be with you.
Amen.
God bless you, sweet sister in Christ. I stumbled across your blog this morning, read your story, and am deeply moved by your faith and love for our Lord. Your story is a powerful testimony to the power and faithfulness of God’s love and mercy. I have a sign over my bed so it’s the first thing I see every morning that reads “His mercies are new every morning.” God bless you as you walk on in that truth.
Thank you so much for your transparency Lisa. You have really encouraged me with your story because I lost my brother at 52 to a heart attack and his widow, one of my dearest friends, made very bad decisions that affected her/our entire family. Life is difficult and life changes—but Jesus is with us in the difficult times and I take comfort in believing that He never changes. Hugs, Linda
Lisa,
Reading your story I felt your pain. I’m a widow and now raising two grandsons. One is a teen, 14, and the youngest, 3 years old. I experienced the love of God bringing me through the pain of loss.
Love
Marinalva Sickler
Lisa,
I did not realize how similar our stories are in how we lost our husbands. Our paramedics told me that had me gone to bed, and not stayed up late the night my world changed, I would have woken up to my husband in bed the same way you did.
I too…have been finding such amazing comfort in my relationship with Jesus and the special way he is speaking to me thru my quiet times with him throughout my day. He’s been so tender, loving and caring and his peace is tangible in my life.
I’m so sorry we are walking this road together, yet, I’m thankful for your continual encouragement.
Kim~
Kim, I didn’t know one young widow when Dan passed away and now? I know too many really. It breaks my heart, but there’s a sisterhood of shared suffering and I know God will walk you through so tenderly, just as you’ve said. I’m so glad to know you Kim and walk the valley with you.
I lost my wife of 22 years 125 days after her cancer diagnosis. This is our first New Year without her. Thank you for your testimony and your article
I’m so sorry, David. It’s excruciating and there is no way around the pain but through. It is heavy and grueling but trust God in the dark because He is faithful and He will bring you through. Praying you sense His strong presence on you.
My Sister died 3 years ago. I have watched my brother in law struggle from laying on the ground next to her body in the front yard telling her goodbye–to marrying a woman who brings out qualities in him that have budded in the firestorm of his grief. God heals and can make it good when that impossible moment happens
Lisa, I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. It is truly amazing and shows the power of God in action. It has been a little over a month since my high school sweetheart, and husband of 36 years, transitioned to Glory. Reading your story has indeed given me renewed strength!
Continual blessing to you and your family
Angela
Thank you Lisa, I am blessed with your story and sitting with tears in my eyes and sorry for your loss, but thankful that you know this God who never fails us and who never changes, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Despite it all you have trusted in God and with the seven children you never gave up. Your story is heart breaking and very inspiring and truly I am encouraged to trust in God always. Thank God for your life and you are a woman warrior for God. I am praying for you and your children right now.
May the Holy Spirit continue to guide you and strengthen you.
Cecilia
I was googling “Giving God Thanks for What He has Done” and came across your article. In 1995, I lost my husband of 25 years. We have 7 amazing children–they are all adults now. However, our youngest was only 3 at the time of my husband death. It was her, he really got to spend time with–because of illness. However, her memories of him are vague–to her he lives through the memories of the other children. I have since remarried and I was able to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a teacher–now retired! Your story is one of love for Our Father and your family. God bless you and I thank you so much for sharing.
i appreciate your story. what i will say is that you are very fortunate to have a loving husband and father for your children. some of us get the opposite – monsters dressed as christian men who hurt their wives and children. that’s what my beautiful girls and i endured for 13 years. i’ve never had a loving husband or a loving father for my girls. so i am sympathetic to your grief and at the same time, frustrated that there is little help or support for christian women who are or were married to evil men pretending to be christians. i hope your life continues its path of joy and comfort and peace. i don’t need sympathy, no thanks, but appreciate the opportunity to comment on behalf of single moms who have stayed strong and kept their children safe.
Truly God’s promise for us in Isaiah 43:2 is true. He said He will never leave us no matter what and He’s fulfilling it. He will be with us in sufferings. I have also learnt that from experience.
Praise God you are standing strong ma
I just found you as I was googling reviews on Samaritan Ministries. I, too, lost my husband. It will be 15 years in December. (2020). Our son and daughter were 7 and 5. (He was an attorney.)
I am glad to have found you!
I happened upon your site when searching for how to plan a personal spiritual retreat. God is his wisdom and mercy prompted that search and led me to your page. I became a widow nearly 9 months ago in such a similar fashion. Your words have ministered to my soul this morning is so many ways. I am still trying to figure out what’s next and am looking forward to using your Retreat Notebook in a couple weeks.
Thank you for sharing your story. I pray God will use it to help many on this journey.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Carrie. This kind of grief is excruciating, but God is faithful to tenderly and personally walk us through. We can’t rush this kind of grief, but we can count on God bringing us through the hardest part. Praying you hear God clearly and sense His direction during your Personal Spiritual Retreat.
This truly has made me cry and has touched me so much. Thank you for being obedient to the Lord and sharing absolute truth! Love you dear sister in Christ. May God bless you and your family.
Thanks Lisa for sharing your story which has encouraged me. I lost my husband three months ago after a short illness while he was working in a foreign country. There are times when my pain and sorrow seems to be growing deeper despite the fact that i have a good relationship with God and have learned to entrust my life in Him. I also have a strong support system through grief support group, family, church and friends. I came across your site when i was searching for materials on dealing with grief. I have realized that I don’t share much of what I feel inside me becuse I want to look and appear strong to my children, friends and at my work. Everyone seems to be moving on including my two adult children and I am the only one stuck behind with grief. I must acknowledge God has seen me through many difficult situations and I have managed to accompolish tasks that I never imagined and am so grateful to Him. I pray that God gives me the courage and strength to full express my self and share my experience in order to cope with my grief and encourage others. May God bless you.
Dear Lisa,
I am so grateful for your site and accessed this part from hope note email. My son died in Nov 2016 and left behind an 8 year old son. He is the only grandchild I will ever have and has been the light in my life. Unfortunately his mother struggles with addiction and has abandoned him multiple times. She was not with my son and he raised him . She popped in and out – visits irregular- and after his death , her mother decided to take over and plotted how she could get me out of his life. She hired a psychiatrist to say I was abusive and neglectful – unreal -as I was always there for him and love him with all my heart. The Judge would not even entertain the psychiatrist’s report. Unfortunately all the court process has done is cost me my pension and more – allowed me to have him for 3 years and then their lies and manipulations caused him to be hurtful towards me and my husband. I was in so much pain I had no choice but to let him go to his mother’s til I could get my pain under control. The Guardian Ad Litem allowed them to manipulate more and I never gained back my time with him.He finally saw the light after a year and realizes We Love him and we have rebuilt our relationship. Unfortunately his Nana, with whom they all live has continued to exercise her superiority and his mother’s new boyfriend joined in- they tried to replace him for his Dad and everything else in his life. The system never held them accountable nor implemented any suggestions from all the psychologicals done or counselors recommendations. It has been a very exhausting and painful time. Over the past year my grandson has been truancy issues, behaviors escalating , and school added emotional support to learning support IEP. His mother never attended the IEP. He was late 3 rd day of school and this week the school could not reach them so called me to pick him up as he was not feeling well and had to be tested for COVID symptoms. I tied for almost 2 hours to get him into doctor but was not able to before I had to take him back. After the fact – I find out his mother has taken off again and the Nana is trying to gain control again. His mother called me and does not want him with her and says she wants to work things out with me. I got call from my attorney Friday am that the Nana hired another attorney. She has no legal standing but this attorney will represent her- She is a PHD psychologist who has enabled her 2 children, both mid 30’s with addiction and mental health issues- they both have pending criminal court cases which I also just found out about . Twice in the past 5 months they brought him to me after physical abuse and emotional threats as they can’t control him , his mother took him off psychiatric meds and I have been unable to get him to counseling for over a month due to them not being there . I have been earnestly praying fo a solution and God’s will but it is so difficult. I was to get him for visit tomorrow but he texts he isn’t coming as his Nana is getting his sisters and he hasn’t seen them for a month. I was crushed at this and so grateful God led me to your posts. His sister’s are from another man. His mother has broke up with other boyfriend and is on 3rd relationship since June . I have shared custody but no cooperation and I am one who takes him to medical and counselor, psychiatrist. I am very concerned about current situation and what can be done as well as safety for my grandson who’s uncle came back when the Nana bailed him out of facility his father had had him committed to – being a danger to himself or others. He is very unstable.
Please pray for us and God’s perfect plan to surround my grandson with his love. There is so much more but this is what the Lord led mr to tonight.
Thank you for your prayers and ministry to others.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story, grief heartache, and grace in moving forward with Jesus and your children.
Lisa….your story is incredible. So sorry about Dan’s passing, I was doing genealogy and can across the obituary. Dan is my first cousin, but we didn’t see much of each other considering the distance. We were in Florida in 2001 and tried to look up aunt Jane, but to no avail. Again, so sorry, Dan was one of the good guys. Ken Andela
Thank you so much. I remember Dan talking about his cousin, Kenny. By 2001, Dan’s mom had moved to the missionary village in Bradenton. She loved it there. I’m sorry we missed you o that trip.
Lisa, hearing your story has encouraged me and inspired me. I am 2 years into separation from my husband of 26 years. I thought we had a pretty good marriage but he went through some very difficult challenges and then decided he’d had enough and would walk away from God, church and our marriage. It’s been heartbreaking but only this week I felt God tell me that he would use my journey to encourage others, bring inspiration and hope for healing. Your message has affirmed that. God’s mercies are new every morning.
Thank you for your transparency in this journey. I was widowed a few years ago after 23 years. I have no Children so this has been a difficult journey. I took know that it is the mercy of the Lord that my husband was taken so that he would not suffer after the devastating stroke, I heard a preacher preach on Psalm 139 the day before his death, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, the Lord knows us even before we were formed in the womb and all of our days are appointed to us. I knew the Lord prepared me and I was so close to the Lord going through the 50 days prior to my husband’s passing. It is now after 2 years and during this time that I feel, still so disconnected from friends, family and the Lord. I have so yearned in my heart for another husband and family and still have not received this. People who have not been through this tell me many things or how to cope. I really just want that connection back with the Lord, but the pain and living alone have been at times so very depressing. I have volunteered my time and taken up a few new hobbies but that deep grieving sadness remains. I appreciate hearing your faith through the road you have been through. May the Lord continue to bless, comfort and encourage you.