As a new mom, I was grateful for the casserole ministry. For two weeks after my first child was born, we had a steady stream of daily hot meal deliveries. Roasts with fixings, lasagnas with salad, homemade chicken casseroles with equally homemade desserts. In those first few weeks when I could barely get a shower before the evening news, it was pure heaven to have a friend drop by with a hot meal.
On the last night, a mom we were just getting to know in Sunday school brought a meal. She had come after work and her rambunctious twin boys trailed beside her. She chatted easily as the 4-year-olds, clearly full of energy after a long day, darted about our living room picking up toys to pitch to our dog. After saying goodbye, we sat down to the meal she had brought — a foil pan of boxed macaroni and cheese, another of heated green beans and store bought cookies.
It’s painful to admit that our first response was to chuckle at such a boxed meal. I cringe even writing that. We were immediately convicted and realized the significant sacrifice it had been for this single mom to bring us a meal. She had carved out time to make and deliver a meal after a full day at work, after picking up from day-care, before baths and the evening needs of her own boys.
I don’t remember a single other meal we got those two weeks but I will never forget that one.
That was the first time I realized the beauty of gifts given out of need.
After Dan died, this lesson hit home again. I was already overcome by the kindness of others for our family. But one day, our mailbox held a card from another widow raising her grandchildren. Inside, she had tucked a small check. As I unfolded it, I knew that she had generously given out of her need. How could I cash the check?
I did honor her gift and cashed the check, asking God to imprint that lesson on my own heart. We learned so many lessons on giving and receiving in the wake of Dan’s death. And while learning to receive can be hard, receiving gifts given out of need is humbling. Not in the degrading way but the-kindness-of-others-overwhelms-me way.
This side of heaven, I will probably never know all of those that gave to us out of need. Some passed on gift cards or anonymously gave gifts; some gave precious time in the midst of their own family difficulties.
All gifts are a picture of love. Gifts given out of need are a picture of sacrificial love.
Sometimes when people are most poor, their generosity is most remarkable. This is recorded in the Bible where the early churches of Philippi, Berea and Thessalonica gave willingly and joyfully out of their deep poverty:
Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity…they gave as much as they were able and even beyond their ability. Entirely of their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints. 2 Cor 8:2-4
As I take this month and really think through intentionally {re}building family, I keep coming back to this lesson. Whether it’s a gift of scarce time or helping those around us, I want our family to be the kind of givers that don’t wait for plenty, but give right where we are.
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Janice Cruce says
Thank you for this thoughtful post. You speak truth to my heart.
Lisa Appelo says
Thank you Janice. I thought about those like you and Billy who have lived in other countries and probably have tender memories of those giving out of need.
Rhonda @Cultivatingahome.com says
I love this series. Thanks, Lisa.
Lisa Appelo says
I appreciate you Rhonda! <3
Hippie4ever says
Thank you for this reminder, I always think of the widow women who gave the mite (Mark 12:42-44) and how Christ said she had given more than the wealthy had with all their gifts, for she had given all her living. I do, too often, think of giving and then think of reasons I can’t- right now. But I always can through Christ. Thank you for the reminder.
Lisa Appelo says
Yes, that widow came to my mind as well! And I’m learning that we cannot outgive God. I’m pretty sure that God didn’t let that little widow perish when she gave her last mite! Thank you for sharing.