Have you ever begged God to change your circumstances?
Begged him to get you out of a situation or free you from a situation or prevent you from having to go through a situation?
Boy have I been there.
Praying that God would reach down and in his great power, just rescue me from the hard.
I think I first really felt it when I had a busy houseful of littles — five kids stairstepped from one to eight years old. It was a more than full house with four adventurous boys and one little lady.
Days were a beautiful messy mix of playroom and pool toys; popguns and driveway chalk; walks up our one-car lane pushing a double stroller and steadying the newest biker.
I loved it but I was stretched to my limit and most days, past it.
God will allow us to be stretched past our limit.
In the midst of busy days filled bottom to top with parenting and cooking, cleaning and shepherding five little hearts, God brought a friend’s little preschooler who was freshly grieving his mom’s way too early death from cancer.
Sure I could do this. I already had five and what was one more while his dad was working?
So began days that summer with a one-, three-, four-, five-, six- and eight-year-old.
And I realized I couldn’t do it. Much as I wanted to, I was way past my limit.
My Prayer
One afternoon, after cleaning up lunch, getting the baby down for a nap and everyone else tucked onto a bed or couch or quiet spot for our rest time/reading time, I collapsed across my bed with hot tears, spilling out my churning heart to God.
I remember begging this: Change me or change my circumstances.
I’m sure you can guess how the Lord answered. He didn’t change my circumstances. Instead, as the days turned into weeks of that first summer, I fell in love with that little boy. God did for me what I could not do in my flesh.
That sweet boy folded right into our family. I remember cuddling with him in the mornings just after he was dropped off and spending hours lounged in the warm baby pool because he was terrified of the big pool. I cannot tell you how many times we went into Publix or Walmart or Target that summer with two toddlers cross-legged in the grocery buggy, the baby sitting up front and three older kids walking right next to the cart after firm instructions to stay close.
For four summers, he was one of us. Backyard Bible clubs, afternoons in the sprinkler, popsicles in the fort, bike riding down the hill, vacation Bible school, trips to Wild Adventures, the zoo, the museum, the library — all shared with this precious little boy.
As a young mom, I got a lesson that summer that I’ve held onto: God is more interested in changing me than changing my circumstance.
My flesh may want to lie down and throw a pity party. I can so easily start listing all the reasons why it’s too hard and why things should change. But if I’m willing, God will use the hard to chisel the ugly right out of my heart.
And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Util it be according unto mine?
But, no, Lord, no, that never shall be, rather
I pray Thee blend my human will with Thine.
I pray Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,
I pray Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire—
See in my quiet places, wishes thronging—
Forbid them, Lord, purge, though it be with fire.
― Amy Carmichael
Today, Lord, align my heart to Yours. Let circumstances accomplish their design and allay my heart until it is one with Your perfect will.
This hit home to me on so many levels. Thank you Lisa. ❤️
It’s a prayer I’ve found myself praying more than once. ♡
I am 37 years old and this year the lord has really tested my faith I had 1 cousin to be murdered the next week my mom got sick and was in the hospital for 3 weeks she had to have surgery two months later my other cousin whom I love like a son had a motorcycle accident and died a week later I grieved and grieved for months and in September I started having chest pains and I had a mild heart attack I kept asking God why why so much pain lord and I had to realize the will of God he took me through a test to make me stronger and to realize that I had to lean and trust him I woke up every morning saying God thank you for your blessings how ever you bless me today I will accept and one morning on my way to work someone ranned the light and tore my car up and left me with neck and back injuries I trust God and everything I went through last year I know that he kept me here for a reason to tell everyone that God is real and he is merciful
Wow, Tonya. Makes me think of Joseph and Job and all the piled on hard they went through and yet trusted God. Praying for you now.
Great post Lisa and easily related!
As I recounted those full days, I remembered again how beautiful they were!
WOW! Can I just say that He is always right on time! Always working through people and situations to remind us that He is always there an we are never alone. This post really encouraged and gave me a different perspective as to where I am right now in my life. The issues may be different but the lessons are all but the same! Lisa, thank you for letting Him use you at this very moment to work in my life. Even my prayers have just changed based on this new perspective. This God of ours is amazing!
Thank you for sharing, Marian. So grateful God gives us just what we need when we need it!
Lisa, this is beautiful. Thank you for the authenticity of this post. I have been there, and often it takes me more time than I’d like to admit to say that prayer. But “change me” is a prayer he’ll always answer. Love this, friend.
Yes He will, Abby. Thank you friend.
Lisa, I’m Patti Miracle’s sister-in-law. I’ve been reading your blogs for a while now (at Patti’s recommendation!). Thank you for this. I’ve been dealing with cancer for 3 1/2 years (doing well, but still doing chemo), and my mom has been living with us since the end of July. What a struggle her presence has been, and I’m surprised at the ugly it has brought out in me. I get so impatient, so bossy. But you are so right …. it’s not her, it’s me. Thank you for the reminder to pray the prayer that God always answers: Lord, change me!
Lynn, what a joy to *meet* you here. We have prayed for you! My son is in Dave’s Sunday school class, and it’s so sweet to hear him pray for Mr. Miracle’s sister. I’m learning more and more that all of life is a tool to make us like Christ. Oh, but that chiseling can hurt! Xo to you today.
So true: God is working to refine us through our circumstances. Thanks for this important message today.
Which sounds good in theory, but in practice is h a r d to walk out some days. Thank you, Mary.
Beautiful prayer, Lisa. Thanks for your transparency. I can relate to offering to help others and then being upset and ruffled about it on the inside. What a beautiful gift you gave to that boy. Reminds me of a family home where I spent many days at the kitchen table talking with everyone in the days after m y parents divorce. Love that prayer at the end. Oh God, change my heart. Pinning this now!
Yes, Betsy, even doing good can cause us to battle our flesh.
Lisa, thank you for THIS & sharing your heart. ALL of your stories are inspiring to me. This one especially. We all need “the ugly chiseled from our hearts” and I’ve been in a similar situation myself. Even with just 1 more child, the dynamic of your home changes & the extra responsibility can stir up bitterness in your heart. Thank you for the reminder to simply take it to the Lord. I’d love to know more about how the lives of this little boy & his dad have evolved. Especially, the way you loved on him and claimed him as one of your own. I can imagine you played a HUGE role in who he is today by showing him the love of Christ.
We moved away but I got to see him ironically when his dad and he came to my husband’s memorial service. It felt like God revealed another tiny part of the tapestry He’s weaving of this life.
Lisa, it’s amazing how one can make such a difference — saw that in my preschool classroom many times. But then something happens … God softens your heart and you can’t picture the day without their presence.
But your words remind me of more than my old classroom experiences. Too often I start with the “change my circumstances” until I give up and pray “change me.” But slowly I’m learning God uses those circumstances to mold me and reveal Himself through me.
Sweet blessings to you, friend. : )
He does, Crystal. And yes, to reveal Himself right in the circumstance.
i relate to this for the waiting especially when you don”t know what is suppose to change whether is something in you or will it be your circumstances. You don’t what it is in your heart God wants to change. I keep reading it is not what your doing but its about the journey. This journey is destination unknown.
Joni, it’s curious b/c I think our flesh is always ready for the next destination but you are right that life is lived in the journey.
Just love your mom’s heart and the testimony of His goodness to sustain you. I think any of us would have struggled with just one more – person, thing, task to do. It’s so sweet of God to turn our grumblings into great lessons, if we’ll afford Him the opportunity to do that.
Oh, dear. God has been so very patient with me. Another reason to love Him!
Lisa- I LOVE THIS. I LOVE your vulnerability! As moms we all can relate! I’m sharing this post on social media! Love your heart and love you!
xoShannon
Thank you, Shannon!
Thank you so much. Greetings from Europe. May the LORD bless and keep you,
Thanking God for sending this my way. 💗
Amen! What a beautiful, heartfelt prayer, Lisa! A prayer for all of us. <3 Thank you for sharing.
“Forbid Lord, purge. Though it may be with fire.” This hits home today rearding the bitterness that this mama’s heart struggles to keep out. Put on another happy face regardless of sleep loss. Today is another achey day plus X-ray, leading up to another impending surgery for my girl. But its also Good Friday. Making good on His promises. Purge it out, my Strength, my Lord. Thank for sharing Lisa.
Amen to this! I wish more people knew that this is what prayer is for. We always remind each other at small group to pray to God that he will change us not our circumstances. Great post!