Can you grieve a little life you never got to hold? Sarah Philpott, author of Loved Baby, says miscarriage can trigger surprising grief for women and we often carry the grief privately. I know you’ll love Sarah and her words as much as I do as she debunks a myth about grief in miscarriage.
After both of my miscarriages I felt confused.
- Was it okay to be so sad over the loss of a baby I’d never met?
- Was it okay to grieve?
- Was I going crazy? Or was this anxiety I felt something real?
- Was it okay for a Christian to be sad over the loss of a child in the womb?
It turns out I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. For the past three years I’ve researched the topic of pregnancy loss—miscarriage, stillbirth, and ectopic loss. I’ve talked to hundreds of sweet, grieving mamas and I have even talked to men. I compiled all of this into Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss. It turns out that the feelings of anger, jealousy, anxiety, depression, and all the other common grief reactions occur after the loss of a child.
If you are reading this and you have experienced loss please accept my sincerest condolences. Have questions like mine swirled in your mind, too?
I want to debunk one of the grief myths of pregnancy loss. The myth that we should “just get over it.” Or we should accept the simple and hurtful platitude of “you can always try again” or “it was God’s will.” Those statements hurt, don’t they? They fail to take into account that we lost a specific child and that for some of us, “trying again” isn’t a possibility.