I remember staring at our summer bucket list. Here it was mid-June and it was already shot to pieces.
I had been so intentional that summer. Our oldest would be home from his freshman year at college for only a few weeks before heading to work at a camp in North Carolina. So I made a list of places we wanted to go and things we wanted to do, books that needed to be read and camps the kids would attend.
Summer of 2011 had all the possibilities.
Top of the list was our annual end-of-school celebration. We typically wrapped up our homeschool year with a family night out to a special restaurant. Dan would go around the table and speak to each child about the growth and victories he’d seen in them that year – courage to try a new sport, hard work put into a difficult class or character shown with a sibling. As Dan spoke, I could see reflected in their faces how his words filled them up.
That summer, we’d decided to celebrate with a day on the water. Just so happened, all the high school friends of my oldest, after a year away at different schools, were reconvening that same day.
Could he skip family day, he asked? We could see he really didn’t want to miss out on this time with his high school friends. A decision either way seemed to cost and while we wobbled internally, in the end we guarded the family day.
We rented a pontoon boat, packed a lunch and snacks and spent that Saturday tubing up and down the Intracoastal. It was a perfect day by all accounts and I checked it off the bucket list.
Three weeks later, life fractured irrevocably. The rest of the summer was a muddled collection of hard, heavy days and estate issues and trying to help the anguish of seven broken hearts out of the brokenness of my own. The bucket list that was to be our summer would never happen.
I stopped making any kind of bucket list. Why do it when so much was out of my control? When I heard people talk about their bucket list dreams I’d think, “Hmph. Good luck with that.” I couldn’t put my heart on paper again. God had my future and I would just trust whatever plans He had for me.
But with some time, I can see that even in our hard, unexpected summer, the bucket list did its job. We were purposeful with the time we had. We made memories that we will forever cherish. We said no to the other pulls because of the YES already on our list.
I’ve come to see that there’s a place for bucket lists. Maybe it’s a sign of some healing that I have a few pipe dreams again. But I’ve learned this —
Make a bucket list, yes. But write it in pencil.
I can make plans and dream dreams knowing that it’s all if the Lord wills.
God has the final say-so over my list. It might look completely different. There may be hard things I know nothing about yet. Or it may be better than anything I could imagine.
My friend, Jill, once told me she’s never made a bucket list because she cannot put God in a bucket.
Like everyone else, Jill had things she wanted to do and places she wanted to see. Turns out, God’s ideas were far, far beyond anything she could have imagined. One day, her husband was offered a new position at the place where he’d worked for years — a position that allows them to travel all expenses paid with VIP extras to places she’d only dreamed about.
So this summer, I’ll scratch out a bucket list. It will help us choose well and be intentional with the time we have. I’ll dream of all the possibilities — in pencil. It will give us vision, but we’ll hold it loosely, knowing that God gets to erase or veto or add to out of His perfect will.
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
Thank you so much. What an encouragement you are!
Thank you, Jennifer. Your words are a blessing.
This post brought tears to my eyes, Lisa. It resonates with me more than I can say … thank you for articulating these thoughts so beautifully.
Blessings to you, Lois. <3
You are such a blessing! I needed to read this.
This was worked out in my own heart as well, Debbie.
As always, the truths you pen are precious! God holds the future and He knows all! WOW!
Praising the Lord with you, Libby. 💗
This is a lovely article. Thank you for sharing and inspiring me today!
Thank *you* for your comment, Jo-Kim.
I LOVE this post!!! As someone else stated, it brought tears to my eyes too! All too familiar feelings….but what’s encouraging is the IDEA of writing that bucket list again, but ONLY in pencil! I love that! Maybe one day I’ll be able to dream again about places to visit…about the future…but ONLY if the Lord wills. Until then, I’ll rest in Him! I love you! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
You will, Suzanna. What promise God has for you and your family. It stinks and it’s painful to the core, but God will bring you out into wide open spaces again. Sending you (((((hugs))))) this evening.
I always use a pencil… Things change… Time does too.. Sometimes it’s very hard. But once my heart starts to beat again, and I can take a breath. I “trust” once more in His love. Good to know someone else will only use a “pencil”…
Oh yes. So important to write our lists in pencil and hold them lightly up before the Lord. Thank you, friend. Sharing today on Facebook. 🙂
Where’s the “love” button?? GREAT piece and reminder of God’s providence =) Happy summer to you and your beautiful family! pax, amanda
Wow. Tears, Lisa. This is such a powerful post, my friend. I am still learning to hold loosely to my plans and trust that God’s ways are always best. Thankful he’s not finished with me yet. 😉 You are speaking hope and truth into many hearts. Keep writing. (hugs)
Beautiful, my friend. Make a bucket list, but write it in pencil. Yes, whatever the Lord wills….I’m proclaiming these words as well. Lisa, once again you champion my heart to search for and follow the Lord’s will. It never fails to happen with a visit here.
Love this! I have a bucket list that I hold lightly. Sky diving has always been something I’ve wanted to do. I was able to jump out of a plane with my daughter in New Zealand over a spectacular lake and mountains. It was breathtakingly beautiful and exhilirating!
But I’ve also had to let go of other items on my list such as traveling with my mother to Italy. We weren’t able to do a planned trip because she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. God had different plans for us that year.
I know God wants us to dream because he often times places those dreams within us. He is also with us when the don’t come to fruition.
Love this…we can’t put God in a bucket! Oh for the heart that is pliable and willing to receive His best laid plans over my own.
Your words are so wise. God speaks through you. Thank you Lisa for giving of yourself!
<3 To God be the glory.
Thank you for sharing Lisa. I think this is a healthy way to put our dreams in perspective. I’m sure it’s good to have ambitions, but always watching out for God’s plans. God writes on our bucket lists too!
I find the idea of a bucket list a little silly. What good is a list of things to do before you die if, once you check of every item, you still die? I prefer to remember a quip I once heard: “Overplanning takes the “prize” out of surprise”. I don’t want a perfectly crafted “to do with my life” list. I’d rather enjoy the blessings I have and take advantage of the opportunities that come my way, even if they are things I never thought I’d want to ever do. I’d rather see what wonderful things wait around the bend that I’m not even expecting instead of trying to force opportunity to fit a pre-planned list.