Some days, I fall so far short on the mom measure. It can feel like what I’m doing wrong far outweighs what I’m doing well.
And I know I’m not the only one. I talked to another mom recently who by all counts has a lovely family with lovely children. She is doing a marvelous job from all that I can see.
And yet, our conversation started with tears. She’d had a series of hard days. The kind of days where our faults taunt us. The kind of days that leave us wondering whether we’re doing any good as a mom at all.
It’s not the criticism and judgment of others that takes us down; it’s our own.
This morning in the car, I caught a broadcast by a well-known Christian speaker. He was talking to parents, advising how we should engage our children given some of the current dangers in our culture. He said we should be talking about this issue by the time our kids are five years old and continue well into their teens.
Even as he talked, I realized I’d already failed. Those ages have come and gone. We’ve had some conversations but they were much later and not very often and I began to wonder — maybe we hadn’t talked enough? Maybe I hadn’t prepared them enough?
And then there are things like this: my kids didn’t get an Easter basket this weekend. For the first time since my oldest was old enough, there were no baskets waiting on the hearth for them. I just ran out of hours.
I wanted to start a Facebook group for all the moms in the trenches. I’d start the posts: “Please tell me I am not the only mom who was too exhausted to get Easter baskets. Please tell me I am not the only mom who needs to up her game of preparing kids for this culture.”
Truth is, most of us are working h a r d at parenting. We’re taking them to church, memorizing verses, working on character, giving them chores, helping with school, planning activities. We know we’re getting some things very right but we’re also painfully aware we’re getting our fair share wrong. And missing other things altogether.
But a Facebook support group isn’t the answer. We could all comment in support of each other, commiserate and give an atta-girl but what we really need? Prayer.
There’s a gap between who I am and what my kids need and it will never be filled by trying harder. When I’m feeling less-than as a mom and defeated by the huge task of parenting, I need to go to God.
So from one mom in the trenches to another, here is a prayer for moms:
Lord, be our guide. Give us wisdom to say the right words, to make good decisions and to know what counts and what doesn’t. Help us turn to you first, before our friends or a book or anyone else who might offer what our ears want to hear. Teach us to search for wisdom in your Word and through prayer. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
Remove our idolatry. Some days, we will look polished and shiny and we can start to puff up that we’ve got this parenting down. But then there are days that reveal how messy we really are. Help us know we are not shining trophies for a shelf. We are shepherding souls. Not to us, LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory. Psalm 115:1
Empower us by Your spirit to do what we cannot. We might be able to clean bathrooms in our flesh, but oh man does a day of errands with the littles remind us how much we need your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Fill it up in us before we require it from our children. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
Help us to understand Your grace – to really know that no matter how our day has gone or how we’d measure ourselves as moms, You don’t use yardsticks. Help us grasp the depth of your grace given without limit and without right so that we can lavish it on the people in our home. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
You have promised that love covers a multitude of sins. How we need that Lord. On our best days, our sins stack high. Help us to be humble and sincere with our family, to apologize and keep no list of offenses. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Keep us thirsty for you. Give us a craving that is satisfied only in You. Help us carve out time to read your Word and to guard that time at all cost. Help us adjust the noise of this world and the pulls on our schedule so that we can be fed full before we pour out to our family. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Psalm 143:8
Lord, parenting is a holy task and kingdom work. When the days feel mundane and we are undone by the challenges, give us eyes that see as You see and an undivided heart. Being unable is right where You want us. You delight in our weakness. For it’s in our very weakness, that Your power is made strong. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 1 Corinthians 12:9
Thank you, beautiful Lisa. Your reminders were just the breath of fresh air I needed today.
Jennifer
Good to see you, Jennifer. Praying these words over all of us moms.
Thank you so much for these words, I am just emerging from the baby trenches after 8 years and life is getting easier. But, there are days that are amazing and days that I downright want to be over already! I don’t ever want to be seen as a great mum, just one who keeps on keeping on with her eyes on Christ. But some days, even that is a goal too far!! Thank you Jesus for your grace 🙂
Yes, Di, I think that’s what we need most some days is his grace.
Thanks for this this morning!
Blessings to you, Amy.
Thankful God is using you to encourage us in this way. “Love, covers a multitude of sins.” I needed that reminder today. And as this reminds me of the “love chapter” in 1 Cor. 13, I am convicted. Oh, Lord, help me to live and love out of the never ending storehouse of Your great love. Thanks Lisa. 🌹
I have clung to that verse and claimed it many times,Pam!
Thank you SO very much! What an encouragement! I’ve been following your blog for about a month now and I’m so blessed by your story and the wisdom you share. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. Thank you for all that you do!
Thank YOU Emily for your kind words and your prayers.
It is amazing how God is so faithful! You are the second blogger who posted something like this. God knows what I need. Very encouraging words. Thank you
Don’t you love it when God solidifies His wordto us like that?
Thanks for sharing all the great bible verses. They are truths that I needed to hear. I am going to post them somewhere in my home where I can see them daily. I am in the trenches now with a child who is struggling. Your words are encouraging- thank you!
Daily reminders of these truths is just what we moms need. Thank you, Christan.
Oh Lisa, this may be the very best post you’ve ever written. You nail it when you describe the challenges of being a mom. I know that no Easter basket feeling… Wonderful, empowering prayer here too.
Refreshing words, Betsy. You are always so full of refreshment.
Oh, a thousand yeses to this: “Fill it up in us before we require it from our children.” And this: “Being unable is right where You want us. You delight in our weakness.” We are far from perfect moms, but we are the moms God gave to our children, and He makes no mistakes! I’m so thankful that His grace is sufficient, for the good days and the bad …
Me too. You’ll understand, Lois, that even as I wrote, I was having to walk out this prayer in my own.
So, so good, Lisa! I’d gather to say that every mom could use these prayers in their hands. And by the way, Easter basket or not, I have a feeling your righteous mothering will reap rewards. You’re doing the work of two, and you continually amaze me. #goJesus
A beautiful prayer, Lisa! Us Mamas try to keep our super hero capes on, but the truth is we just fall short. And that’s okay because our kiddos need to know that humans are not God. We will fall short, despite all our best expectations and all the love in the world!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Yes, they do need to know that Lori. I’ve told my kids through tears when apologizing that I’m not perfect, and that’s why I so need a Savior. Good reminder Lori.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message and prayer. I am a wife and mother of five beautiful children. Our children range in the ages of 11-33 years old. I must admit that even after they leave the home this prayer is still needed. Yes you are so right we should not beat up on ourselves. They give little girls dolls when they are growing up as to prepare them for motherhood. But a doll is nothing like a real child. Also nothing can prepare you for parenthood but experience. Thank you once again for this much needed prayer.
What a beautiful family you have, Netta. Blessings to you. 💗
Thank you once again, Lisa. You always have encouraging words and a sweet spirit. Knowing you have “days like that” makes it seem normal. I’m so much more critical of my “domestic skills” (wife/mom/ housekeeper) than anything. Thankful that God will use us despite ourselves. Thank you for your encouraging devotions. Teri
This was beautiful. So genuine. I truly loved it. I bookmarked it for daily use 😉 thanks.
Such a helpful prayer at the end. Thank you!