The loss of a loved one helps us live in light of eternity as we focus on truths for life this side of heaven.
Anyone who has walked through pain understands the awakening it brings. God’s lessons come hard and fast in suffering. Grief brings into sharp relief the things that matter in this life and the things that don’t.
But it’s not just this life that has been clarified. I also understand more than ever that this world is not my home. I love life here, I adore my family and I have many passions. But this life is a flash compared to the life we’ll have in eternity.
Our lives this side of heaven are a tiny dot on an endless line of eternity. As soon as you think you’ve imagined the end of that line, you’ve only reached the first day.
Eternity and heaven once seemed so distant. They were decades down the road for me. I believed in heaven for sure but it was a faint shadow in the periphery of busy days teaching kids, shuttling them to activities and putting dinners on the table.
Loss has made heaven a present reality. I’m no longer blindly focused just on the dot. While I’m still busy teaching kids and shuttling them to activities and trying most nights to get dinner together, there’s been a good shift. Knowing that this world is not my forever home has not just helped explain suffering. It’s helped me plant these three truths for life this side of heaven.
1. I hold the possessions of this world more loosely.
The things of this world have grown strangely dim. I would never have understood that before Dan died. But the glimmer of newer, bigger, prettier isn’t nearly as shiny.
I used to have a huge itch for a bigger house. With nine people under our roof — several who were strapping teen boys — our house seemed small. I wasted so much thought and emotion being discontent.
That changed instantly after Dan died. That morning, my house filled with people. I hadn’t cleaned for them. I hadn’t put away my work piles or made any beds. Our upstairs air conditioner had gone out the night before and our lower unit couldn’t keep the house cooled.
What did it matter? It didn’t. Family and friends didn’t come to tour a house; they came to cry with us. And in the following weeks without Dan, I was suddenly aware that the size of our house seemed to fit well.
2. I no longer fear death.
Even though I’d compartmentalized death into the old age box, there was always a scary unknown when I thought my own death. Fear of death is apparently pretty universal.
That fear makes us avoid the topic. We put off talking about it or even thinking about it. So many folks put off ever planning for it.
But living for the line of eternity rather than this dot frees us from any fear of death. Each day is held by a sovereign God who is Himself perfect Love and every single one of our days was written in His book before one of them came to be.
Now, I have kids I want to raise and grandchildren I hope to cuddle, so I sure hope it’s down the road. But I no longer ignore it or fear it.
3. I want to live fully every bit of life this side of heaven.
[Jesus] came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10
That life is short and temporary makes it even more precious. What a gift we have. Jesus did not just redeem us for eternity. Thank the Lord for that! But His work on earth allows us to have a rich and satisfying life here. It gives meaning and significance to every single day on this dot and every single person in our life.
I don’t want to miss any of it. I don’t want to shrink back from any of the adventure that God has planned for me this side of heaven. I want ears that hear and eyes that see. I don’t want to pine away for what isn’t — or what may never be — but to enjoy the thrill of all God has for me.
I want to love as fully as I’m able. I want to feast on the good that God has right now. I hope I smile more and really, I want to laugh a whole lot more. Because we of all people with the hope of heaven and the forgiveness in Christ should be gleaning the abundance of life.
Pam says
Beautiful.
Jennifer Waddle says
As I went under general anesthetic Monday morning, I had a brief moment of unbridled tears and intense fear. Immediately, the words to the old hymn came flooding in…
I hear my Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Let Me be thine all in all…
His perfect peace surrounded my feeble understanding.
Thank you for your beautiful post, Lisa.
God Bless,
Jennifer
Julie Sunne says
Lisa, this is a message all of us need to hear over and over! How quickly we lose sight of the blessing in the now. We see our dot as just a dot instead of the amazing mix of adventures and gifts it is. I couldn’t help but share your poignant words. Bless you!
Lisa Appelo says
This was hard to write, for some reason, though every bit is true. Just such personal lessons, I guess, that came at such cost. Thank you for sharing Julie. 🙂
Anne says
I just discovered you this week and want you to know how much your posts have spoken to me. I am planning to go back and read all 31 days. Thank you so much for sharing all that you have learned through your tragedy. You have gained so much godly wisdom and insight and your writing is so authentic and powerful. May God bless you and your family lavishly!
Lisa Appelo says
Thank you, Anne, for such encouragement and for your prayers. God’s faithfulness has never wavered and I am forever grateful.
Lori Schumaker says
Beautiful, Lisa. This was a good little reminder today to live in each moment, not holding onto anything unnecessary! I always enjoy stopping by here … God speaks through you so powerfully.
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Amanda Laudadio says
Lisa, I have had this article pulled up to read for a couple of days now and just made time to finish it. This one took my breath away. “I don’t want to pine away for what isn’t but to be content with all God has for me. ” Yes! Thank you for this reminder. Your writing continues to bless me abundantly. pax, amanda
Lisa Appelo says
Thank you, Amanda. <3 You're awesome for keeping it pulled up. 🙂